Expansion Draft '09

So with Seattle coming into the league MLS is subjecting everyone to yet another expansion draft. According to Garth "You didn't tell them about my pubes did you?" Algar Lagerwey on the Bill Riley show, RSL can protect 11 players, 3 of which must be internationals. Also, Gen. Adidas players (who don't "graduate" from the program this year) are automatically protected. Another interesting wrinkle is that if Seattle chooses a developmental player, then they must offer the player a senior roster spot. The full rules can be found here. So here is who I would keep and who I think RSL will keep protected:

Gen. Adidas/automatically protected:
Beltran
Nimo
Seitz
(Nik Besagno should lose his status this year from what I've heard)

My protect list:
1 Beckerman
2 Movsisyan
3 Borchers
4 Johnson
5 Findley
6 Rimando
7 Wingert
8 Williams
9 Morales
10 Olave
11 Espindola

I struggled on my last pick or two, but decided to go with Williams over Deuchar (and Russell) for my final pick. Why? First, because I think the team flat out plays better when Andy is in the game. I'm not sure that is generally the case with Kenny D (although it has been at times). Secondly, I think Seattle is less apt to use an international spot on Deuchar than they are to take the American (for MLS purposes) Williams. And lastly, simply to pay back some of the loyalty that Andy has shown this franchise, pay cuts and all. And for those questioning my keeping Big Nick protected, I have two good reasons. One, while he is completely under-recognized since he plays in Utah, I think he has been one of the top 2 or 3 goalies in the league over the last 2 years. Secondly, if you keep Nick, you may be able to find a buyer for Chris Seitz, get a decent return on that investment, and still have a quality man in the nets. So who does RSL lose in this situation? Here are the most probable losses:
Russell-Can play multiple positions, solid defender
Sturgis-Good player on the rare occasion he isn't hurt
Deuchar-Big target forward, but can he produce in MLS


Now that list is for if I were in charge of RSL, which, obviously and unfortunately (for me), I am not. So here is the list I seem the team coming up with.

Projected RSL protect list:
1 Beckerman
2 Movsisyan
3 Borchers
4 Johnson
5 Findley
6 Joy
7 Wingert
8 Russell
9 Morales
10 Olave
11 Espindola

I know that's a lot of defenders on the list, but I'm not sure who RSL keeps over them. I think Kovalenko is unprotected solely based on his salary. I think Deuchar may go as he seems to be on the outs with the coaching staff/team right now. I think Williams is out based on his minute playing time in the playoffs combined with the fact that he oftentimes struggles going a whole 90. Sturgis is out as he is never ever healthy. Rimando is out because Seattle already has a keeper in Kasey Keller and because of Seitz already being protected. On the other hand, I think Joy makes it on locker room and leadership qualities, while Russell is in based on his ability to play multiple positions. That being said, I would not be surprised to see someone from the former group replacing one of the latter two. Who are the most probable losses in this scenario?
Williams-Gives you possession and some creativity in attack
Sturgis-Young, talented, perma-hurt
Rimando-Trade bait?

For another view of the upcoming draft, check out WV Hooligan's team-by-team look at the expansion draft (you can start with RSL). Highly recommended.

Looking Ahead to 2009

On the Bill Riley show last night, Garth "No way. Way." Lagerwey mentioned that the first game next year will be on MARCH 21st. He did not know if it was home or away, but oddly had a date for it... Anyway, mark the calendars; only 122 days to go!

Playoffs: Round 2-Western Conf. Final : NY @ RSL: Frustration From Defeat

Cue the fat lady. RSL's 2008 season is over. Looked at in the big picture, this season was a massive success, with the team making it farther than I think anyone really expected. However, on the day after, it is tough to swallow. Especially when RSL proved they were the better team and yet had nothing to show for it.

Really, this game boiled down to the fact that our strikers (especially the starters) are not that good. Yes, Yura has scored some HUGE goals as of late, but he still misses way too many easy ones (he also needs to get a new move, the bulls seemed to have figured out his little hesitation stepover thing). Mathis was largely useless and missed an absolute sitter. Late in the game he was hounding the refs as he couldn't get a call and I found myself saying out loud, "Clint, shut up. You missed an easy one that would've tied this game. Yes, the ref may have missed some calls, but you've got to take care of business on your end too." After 3 hit posts, 3 or 4 open net sitters that were shanked (Olave is up for World Shank of the Year after his effort. There's a reason he's a defender.), and numerous other wasted opportunities (when will this team learn to crash the box?) it was an incredibly frustrating evening. And that was just for the fans. I can only imagine how it was in the locker room afterwards. Overall, it was a game the RSL could have and should have won. But they didn't put their (8,000) chances away and the energy bovines put their 1 away. It happens. Unfortunately, it happened in the biggest game of the year. On the plus side, I don't see any situation where the bulls are not absolutely flattened by Columbus. And it will be sweet!

Pros:
-RSL outplayed NYC in basically every facet of the match.
-A true sellout crowd. Not only that, it was loud and boisterous, as it should be. Even the non-supporters sections were standing for the final 15.
-The fact that RSL even made it this far.
-Chris Wingert coming over to the fans after the game to show his appreciation. Unfortunately, he had swapped jerseys with Mendes and 3/4 of the crowd thought he was with NYC. The insults and middle fingers were flying as Chris tried to plead his case. Priceless comedy.

Cons:
-RSL didn't outplay NYC in the one place it counts: the scoreboard.
-That NY gets the Western Conference trophy even though they are in the Eastern Conference. That is messed up. In this case, the trophy should go to the runner-up (RSL) or, my preference, to the regular season conference champ (Houston).
-It was friggin' freezing Mr. Bigglesworth.
-The fact that with such a big crowd, many I'm sure at their first game, RSL couldn't put together a better scoring night.

Grades:
Nick Rimando-8 Very composed in the net. Nice game.
Robbie Russell-3 Horrendous. Contributed to the NY goal, killed our attacks all night.
Nat Borchers-7 Very solid.
Jamison Olave-5 Point(s) off for the terrible missed tackle that set NY's goal in motion.
(Andy Williams 72)-6 Did OK off the bench, would've liked to see him out there MUCH sooner.
Chris Wingert-6 Average game for Chris.
Kyle Beckerman-4 Terrible. Completed maybe 1 pass all game. He has really regressed the past month or so.
Dema Kovalenko-6 Active out there.
(Robbie Findley 59)-6 Tons of effort.
Javier Morales-6 A little too lax at times, but decent.
Will Johnson-5 Had his moments but missed a couple great opportunities.
Clint Mathis-4 Totally useless.
(Kenny Deuchar 91+)-6 Really too late to grade, but made a presence in his short stint.
Yura Movsisyan-5 A little too much diving, a bit lacking results wise.

Coaching (Kreis)-4 Offensive subs needed to come much earlier. It took the whole north and west ends chanting "Andy! Andy!" for 15 min. before he got Williams in the game. Deuchar sub was too little too late. Mathis should not have been in the game 90+ minutes. At the beginning of the 2nd half the team seemed to lack fire and focus.
Ref grade (Jair Marrufo)-5 Let the "beautiful game" turn a bit too much into the "sweet science". Nothing egregious, but he let a bit too much slide.

RSL Man of the Match: Nick Rimando
With the lack of any standouts, "Big Nicky" wins for his steady night in goal.

Assclown of the Match: All the NY players who were suddenly massively injured late in the game, rolled on the ground for 5 minutes, and then got up and walked off the field with no problem.
Seriously, this shit needs to stop. This is worse than the basketball "we're down 25 points with 2 minutes left and can't win, but let's foul every time the other team touches the ball". If you can't win without basically cheating then you don't deserve to win at all. Play some ball and earn your win, don't cry your way to victory. disgraceful.

And now, some pictures from last night, courtesy of El Spam (click on them to view them full size):
Heading in to "The River"

Pregame warmups (from my crappy camera phone)

Leo warms up the crowd with the help of explosions

Ready to kickoff

What passes for a halftime show in Utah (Mt. Crest HS marching band)

Setting up for a corner

Javi gets ready to take a corner



As always, thanks for stopping by. As soon as I get some time, I will have a post-season wrap-up with full player grades and the 2008 Knighthood Ceremony (aka the Royal Awards). And, as always, go RSL (or as some like to say it: Come on ya Reds!)!

Gameday. Real Salt Lake against the Energy Bovines for the Western Crown

Wow. Think back 12 months ago as RSL fans everywhere sat home and moped while the MLS playoffs swirled around them. Eddie Pope had left. Woe was everywhere. Life as we knew it had ceased to exist. Famine and pestilence spread across the Wasatch Front. Have I made this melodramatic enough for you? Nevertheless, how many of us truly believed that RSL would not only make the playoffs in 2008, but would be hosting the Western Conference Final? I can't imagine too many. (On a side note, how sad it is to have this amazing run happen the year after Eddie Pope hung it up. Thanks again Eddie, you were pure class!) But life is funny like that and here we are.

Can RSL beat this team? Absolutely. RSL outplayed the bulls just a few short weeks ago in the Rio Tinto opener, a game they gave away and that ended 1-1. With a similar effort tonight (and some actual finishing: I'm looking in your direction, Yura), RSL can easily be through to the MLS Cup final. That being said, NYC's dismantling of Houston last weekend cannot be understated. I'll be honest, the thought of RSL going to Texas to face the Dynamo? Kinda scary. So the fact that NYC did it, and with such seeming ease, does give me pause. If Richards and Angel both bring their best tonight, it could get ugly.

So I think the key tonight, and something that is easier said than done, especially for this team, is for RSL to get on the board first and then keep the pressure on. Don't let the energy bovines get the boost from an early lead. If we do get the first goal, great, but don't then go into defensive mode. Keep the pressure on and put them away if the opportunity arises. Take advantage of the home crowd and the altitude and win this sucker!

So now it is time for my prediction. I think the home team factor will be enough to get RSL through if they play smart. RSL 2 - NYC 1.


Other assorted thoughts:
-Who will play tonight? Do we see Dema over Andy again? Will Cleetus roam the field once again? Will Espi be fit enough to play a role?
Here is my starting 11:
GK: Rimando
D: Wingert, Olave, Borchers, Russell
M: Williams, Johnson, Beckerman, Morales
F: Yura, Findley
Top 3 subs: Dema, Espi, Deuchar
Who do I see actually starting?
GK: Rimando
D: Wingert, Olave, Borchers, Joy
M: Dema, Johnson, Beckerman, Morales
F: Yura, Mathis
Top 3 subs: Williams, Espi, Findley
-I am sick to death of hearing of the "massive upset" over Chivas TST. It was a 2 seed vs. a 3 seed! Not a big difference! On top of that, many (especially actual fans, not sportswriters) predicted RSL to beat TST. In fact, RSL was predicted to win by a nearly 2-to-1 margin by Soccer by Ives readers. Not exactly scientific, I know, but it does prove a point. This was most certainly not the giant upset every media outlet wants to make it.
-This is worth a post of its own but can we stop with the "leader of the points table takes the championship" BS. Not going to happen. Nor would I want it to happen. The playoffs are genuinely exciting and there is a palpable sense of tension to them. Anyone who says different is either a) lying, b) a eurosnob elitist who doesn't actually watch MLS, or c) warped beyond belief.

Playoffs: Round 1, Game 2: RSL @ TST: How Sweet It Is

Shinkes! I get stuck on a second shift at work and the site goes all to hell just like that! Sorry for getting so far behind so fast, life happens when you least want it to I suppose. Anyway, grades and pictures for game 1 coming after I wade through them all, but in the meantime, here's the grades and a few thoughts on the clinching game 2.

First off, let me just say, it is official: I hate Chivas TST more than any team in MLS. More than Colorado. More than just about any team in any sport that I can think off (they are in the rarefied air shared by the Yankees and the Lakers). I know I am supposed to hate the Crapids the most (and granted, I dislike them plenty), but, to me, there is just something about TST that I do not like. So imagine my joy in watching RSL win the series at the Home Depot Center. And after squeaking into the playoffs by breaking the hearts of Crapids fans everywhere? Sweet sweet icing on the cake. Couple that with the energy bovines' shocking win over Houston on Sunday, giving us home field for the conference final, and I am a happy boy. And now, I implore RSL to smack NY around. Not just for themselves, not just for us fans, but also for our Ben Cup brethren, the DCU fans who would love nothing more than to see the bulls go down in flames (on a side note, props to the Edgell Supporters for cheering for RSL this playoffs, well done). MLS Cup, here we come!

Grades:
Nick Rimando-7 Had some nice moments, but was helped by poor TST shooting.
Jamison Olave-8 Showed a ton of heart.
Nat Borchers-7 Solid in the back.
Robbie Russell-7 Made some big recoveries in this one.
Chris Wingert-6 Fairly quiet, I'd like to see more.
Dema Kovalenko-6 Would be a five, but a bonus point for the beautiful header.
Kyle Beckerman-5 Passing has been TERRIBLE as of late.
Javier Morales-8 Should've had 2 goals, but you can't argue with a goal and an assist.
(Fabian Espindola 87)-5 Looked a bit lost out there.
Will Johnson-7 Do we have this kid locked down long term yet?
Clint Mathis-5 Basically useless.
(Robbie Findley 72)-7 Needs to be getting into games much earlier than he is.
Yura Movsisyan-6 Meh.
(Andy Williams 80)-6 See Yura.

Coaching grade (Kreis)-7 Some of the sub patterns were odd, but we got the needed result.
Ref grade (head ref: Michael Kennedy)-2 Shockingly bad refereeing. Inconsistent on calls, lost control of the game early, missed calls, pretty much anything he could do poorly he did. Just terrible.

RSL Man of the Match: Javier Morales
Up to his old tricks! Scored a goal, got an assist, and helped drive the offense.

Assclown of the Match: Ante Razov
There were many contenders (give honorable mentions to Kennedy for piss-poor reffing and to Atiba Harris for his trademark recklessness), but I give it to Razov for his Oscar-worthy performance while getting the PK call. Dude falls down and pulls Javi on top of himself. Watch it again, it is clear as day. Super duper classless. Well done, ya assclown!

Two To Go

So I'm finally almost caught up with grades for this season, I only have 2 games left to watch:
-The River opener against the energy bovines, which I was at, so I just need to watch it to refresh the memory.
-The ESPN2 Houston game which I watched in bits and pieces, but need to watch the whole thing to grade fairly.
After I get that done I will have season-long grades for all the RSLers (with much thanks to Jim G. and Dadof6 for their help with the San Jose affair on the station that must not be named).
But for now, the rest of the site is up to date and ready to go (the team leaders/stats section is updated). And once RSL's season is over, say...November 23rd (with the Cup of course), I will have an end-of-season recap and the Royal Awards (better name coming depending on my brain-ha!). Thanks for coming by and GO RSL!

Game 30: RSL @ Crapids: One Tremendously Beautiful Turd

Wow. Just wow. Real just played an asstastic classic, and yet, were somehow able to throw out the plumber's snake and grab a goal from the sewage. RSL was continuously outplayed, outhustled, and outsmarted, but with the heroics of one Nick Rimando were able to keep Colorado at one goal. My oh my, RSL is off to the playoffs with a HUGE tie that also brings home the Rocky Mtn. Cup.

Game grade: A+/D-
An A+ for the massive achievement of FINALLY making the postseason. But really, that game and that effort was worthy of a D- at best (an F is more appropriate perhaps, but they did pull out a tie).

GRADES:
Nick Rimando-9 Singlehandedly kept RSL in striking distance. When motivated and on form, Nick is truly a world-class keeper, I don't care what anyone says.
Jamison Olave-3 An absolute disaster of a game.
Kyle Beckerman-4 Lots of hustle, but tried too hard and forced things.
Nat Borchers-5 Not a good game, but MUCH better than Olave.
Will Johnson-4 Worst game in an RSL kit.
Javier Morales-4 Started to come on late, but a terrible game.
Ian Joy-3 Abused by Cummings all night.
(Robbie Russell 56)-7 Should've started, by far RSL's best defender tonight.
Yura Movsisyan-5 Bonus point(s) for the HUGE goal, but really a bad game, missed WAY too many.
Chris Wingert-5 Very up and down game.
(Robbie Findley 72)-6 Did fairly well with VERY limited service.
Dema Kovalenko-5 Meh.
(Andy Williams 54)-7 Also should've started, helped set up the winner.
Clint Mathis-5 Another one with an up and down evening.

Coaching (Kreis)-3 Starting lineup was all wrong, wasted 2 subs (55 min. in) putting in what should've been the starters. Team also looked strangely lifeless, it's JK's job to get their heads right.
Refs (Prus)-2 An absolute nightmare of refereeing. This game alone should get Alex Prus a pink slip. Absolutely atrocious in every facet.

RSL Man of the Match: NICK RIMANDO
Far and away the best player on the field tonight. Well done Nick, you didn't deserve a loss in this one.

Assclown of the Match: Alex Prus
There was plenty of assclown-ness to go around on the Colorado side, but in sympathy to their fans for the heart-wrenching way their season ended, and in honor of the absolutely horrible officiating, Alex Prus, you win!

REAL SALT LAKE:
2008 Ben Cup Champions
2008 Rocky Mountain Cup Champions
2008-First Ever PLAYOFF APPEARANCE

Also, welcome back and HUGE props to RSLFM.com for allowing us RSL fans to watch the game. Just massive what you did for us tonight!

It's so good, I'll do it twice...

LET'S GO RSL! Flush those Crapids!

Complete and Total Horses***

Now I will do my best to control my urge to post a profanity-fueled tirade here, but there are foul things afoot concerning this Saturday's HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE, and ENORMOUS game against our old friends, the Crapids.
I sat down to set the dvr to record the game and noticed that I couldn't find it. "Hmm...how odd" I thought. So I went into the search mode and tried "Real", "Salt", and even "Rapids". No dice. I start getting desperate. Maybe it's listed weird, something like "RSL @ Colorado" or "MLS Soccer". Nothing, not even after a triple check of Directkick. Fox Soccer Channel? Nope. Well, maybe I'm remembering wrong and it's on Sunday...dammit, no. Maybe it's tonight (even though I know the bovines are on the ESPN game)? Nope, not here either. "Well, what the hell? Where is..." and then it hit me, "Oh no...oh HELL no. Please God don't let it be so... Is this game on that scourge of MLS telecasts, HDNet???" I run to the computer. Bingo. "Aw, shit."
The biggest game in RSL's history. The Rocky Mountain Cup. A chance for RSL to finally make the playoffs. Win and keep playing, lose and go home. And it's on HDNet. Where 95% of RSL fans will not see it. And because of MLS's b.s. deal with Cuban's nightmare, no rebroadcasts. No highlights even. A total blackout. And that, my friends, is complete and total horseshit. Guess I can always curl up with the ol' Victrola and listen to the dulcet tones of Bill Riley. It's my only option, actually. Way to screw your fans, MLS...well done.

PS-Since I won't be seeing it, I will again be relying on all you on these tubes we call the internet to give me your player grades from the game (those of you who actually see the game that is). As always, your contributions are always appreciated.

PPS-Dear Mark Cuban,
You can make this up to me. It won't be cheap or easy, but it is possible. Up your bid for the Cubs (and Wrigley) to something outrageous and ensure that there is no way you won't get the team. Then invest the kinds of resources into the Cubbies that you do into the Mavs. Proceed to win the World Series. Upon completion of this task, making me miss this game will be forgiven. I promise.
Sincerely,
Ben

Game 29: Dallass vs. RSL: First Win at the River

I'm a bit busy today so just player grades for this one. Not a pretty win, but a big 3 points for the boys and with only a tie against the Crapids/Cripids, RSL will be a playoff team at last!

Grades:
Nick Rimando-6 OK game for little Nicky
Chris Wingert-7 Got forward pretty well, assist on the Johnson goal
Jamison Olave-8 Beast in the back again, broke up a ton of early FCD breakaways
Robbie Russell-6 A little too quiet
Ian Joy-7 Played well, especially late
Kyle Beckerman-7 Played destroyer all night long
Dema Kovalenko-5 Could've (and possibly should've) had a red for slapping an opponent across the face
(Andy Williams 46)-6 Steady game for Andy
Javier Morales-7 Had a very quiet 2 assists, but I'm giving him credit for them
Will Johnson-7 Almost an 8, just one too many mistakes, but the goal was beautiful
Clint Mathis-7 Some good old up play from Clint, looked totally worn out by the end
(Kenny Deuchar 89)-6 Didn't have much time to affect the game
Yura Movsisyan-7 Got lucky on it, but a goal is a goal
(Robbie Findley 73)-7 Goal was almost as pretty as Will's

Coaching grade (Kreis)-8 Subs made sense and brought the proper attacking mentality to the 2nd half.
Refs grade-6 Calls were a bit uneven and maybe a bit card happy, but the game was very rough and they had a tough job to do.

RSL Man of the Match: Jamison Olave
Almost went to "Billy", but since he earned the only 8 I gotta give it to him.

Assclown of the Match: Pablo Ricchetti
Easy call. Dude unnecessarily takes out Johnson with an ugly tackle and gets a straight red. Then he proceeds to argue the call, not leave the field, and tries to pick a fight with Joy (granted, that's not hard-if he didn't PLAY soccer, he'd be a soccer hooligan!). Very classy Pablo. Assclown stuff all the way.


PS-If you are interested in taking a bus trip to see RSL beat "the Dicks" (sorry, any chance for a new Crapids insult must be used, especially if it can be used in a delicious double entendre) there is "official" information over on the DesNews blog. Also thanks to SoccerPrime for the original tip-off on this, I just haven't been updating as much as I should lately and hadn't gotten around to posting it!

First game at "The River"

I will try and get a review done (I think I'll try and rewatch the game on the dvr beforehand) and also would like to post some thoughts on the new stadium, but for now, here's a few pictures from the game last night.

The east side of the stadium.

West siyeed!

The pre-game watering.

Pre-game lineups.

Fancy shmancy video board.

Lining up for the free kick.

Javi getting ready to take the aforementioned kick.

Game 26: RSL @ SJ: I need your help!

Since the game was on stupid HDNet, I was unable to watch it, and therefore cannot give player grades for the game. So I'm asking you out there in internet-land, if you saw the game will you please post your player grades for the game in the comments? Also feel free to post a name (or screen name) and a website or anything you want to mention and I will try to give you a shoutout. I would really appreciate the help guys! After a couple days I will average any scores I get and post the results. Thanks again for the help!

By the way, HUGE win for RSL. Perhaps this team has the playoffs in it after all...

Also, here is a list of the players from the game, to make things easy on you:
Nick Rimando
Chris Wingert
Nat Borchers
Jamison Olave
Ian Joy
Robbie Russell
Kyle Beckerman
Javier Morales
(Andy Williams 76)
Will Johnson
Clint Mathis
(Robbie Findley 69)
Yura Movsisyan
(Kenny Deuchar 82)

Game 25: RSL vs. Chivas TST: The Third Time's A Charm

Ah yes, the third time's a charm. After blowing two games on the road, RSL broke their undefeated streak at home with yet another beautiful choke at home. This one courtesy of a Rimando/Borchers miscommunication where Little Nicky ran out of the box after a ball that Borchers was tracking back to. No one called the other off, the ball bounced off of Borchers's chest, right to Esky, who escorted the ball into the net after Rimando ran into Borchers, taking them both out of the play. Very much like earlier this year against TST. You gotta learn from your mistakes boys!
Other than that, the game was pretty uneventful, with Findley's touch being even worse than usual and Movsisyan showing his uncanny ability to screw up a finish no matter how easy it is. Throw in Morales turning the ball over every chance he got (and not once hitting a free kick anywhere useful) and you've got another disappointing loss. Yes, RSL outplayed TST for much of the game, but since they couldn't finish, it didn't show on the scoreboard. Worse yet, the loss takes RSL out of playoff position; a loss to San Jose this week and you can say goodbye to the 2008 postseason. At least my Chicago Cubs are doing well...

Game grade: F
They blew their third straight winnable game. Could the grade be anything else?

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-6 Had a great game up until "the play"
Chris Wingert-6 Quiet but solid
Nat Borchers-5 Decent until "the play"
Jamison Olave-6 A decent game for big J
Ian Joy-6 Played pretty well, got into the attack
(Robbie Russell 82)-6 Didn't have a lot of time to effect the game
Andy Williams-6 Played well early on, but faded quickly
(Clint Mathis 55)-6 OK but nothing special
Kyle Beckerman-6 A pretty solid game for Kyle
Javier Morales-3 Terrible. Tons of turnovers, free kicks were useless.
Will Johnson-6 Probably his worst performance in an RSL kit, but still decent.
Robbie Findley-4 His touch killed him in this one
(Kenny Deuchar 70)-6 Aggressive
Yura Movsisyan-4 As usual, can't finish

Coaching grade (Kreis): 4 Team didn't really come out very aggressive in the 2nd half. What in the hell is the Russell for Joy sub when you are down late? Is Nunez hurt? He's no Pele or anything, but he is a striker and has scored before.
Ref grade: 6 Fairly even, but let the game get a bit out of hand.

RSL Man of the Match: Kyle Beckerman
No one really stood out, but Becks was solid and kept himself involved in the game.

Assclown of the Match: Alecko Eskandarian
Seriously? You're going to give the crowd the "quiet" gesture after scoring a goal like that? You'd think he'd have hit the top corner from 45 yards or something from him showing off. Certainly not a cheap goal that a drunk monkey could have scored.

If you see RSL...

...help them out

RSL Stadium Opener Tickets

I just have a note for anyone who bought the single game tickets online for the big opening night extravaganza at the new Sandy stadium. Although the web site says the tickets will be shipped out the next business day, they will actually ship about 2 weeks before the game according to the RSL offices. So by my count, that would be around next Thursday, the 25th. So don't worry (like I did) if you haven't seen your tickets yet, do that if you haven't seen them by the 5th or so!

Game 24: RSL @ Energy Bovines: That's More Like It!

Ah yes, RSL has returned. After looking like they may become a competent team and finally make the playoffs, RSL has now reverted to their normal state, completely blowing the second game in a row now. Welcome back, crap team, how we've missed you!

Game grade: F
This is the kind of game RSL needs to win if they want to be considered a good team. In a fairly even match, they take an early lead and then squander it with stupid mistakes. The Angel goal was especially egregious with Olave doing his now-signature half-assed follow the ball routine (perhaps he's been listening to Sherry Bobbins? "Don't pout, don't sob/Just do a half-assed job...It's the American way!"). Angel then did a little swim move past Olave (who inexplicably collapsed as though he'd been hit by a semi truck) got the ball and put it in the net. RSL has to earn some points on the road to make the playoffs and in the last two they have squandered at least 3 (2 to LA and at least 1 here). If the reds can't remove their heads from their rectal cavities, and soon, the season will be over in a scant 6 games... Is an F a bit harsh? Perhaps, but if they can't even pull a tie out of a game like this, they don't deserve any better.

Player Grades:
Nick Rimando-8 Some great saves to help keep RSL in it.
Robbie Russell-5 Not a great night for Russell, too many little mistakes.
(Ian Joy 84)-6 Not really enough time to do anything.
Chris Wingert-5 Was overrun by Richards in the 1st half.
Nat Borchers-8 Without Nat it is probably 6-1.
Jamison Olave-3 Absolutely terrible in every facet. And we let Mantilla go for nothing...
Kyle Beckerman-7 Pretty active, tried to lead the charge.
Javier Morales-4 Too many giveaways, not one good free kick. Not one.
Will Johnson-8 Man, has he been a great pickup. We better make sure he is locked up long-term, and soon.
Andy Williams-6 OK game.
(Clint Mathis 59)-5 Did nothing, as per usual.
Robbie Findley-5 Beautiful assist, otherwise his touch killed him. Should've probably had 2 goals...
(Kenny Deuchar 78)-6 Tried, but was smothered by Bovines.
Yura Movsisyan-7 Nice goal, but like Findley, probably should've had more.

Coaching grade-4 I get the Mathis sub, but when you are down late you put in Deuchar for Findley??? And then Joy for Russell??? How about Deuchar for Wingert or Russell? Where's Tino Nunez? How about looking for the tying goal? How about 'fortune favors the bold'?
Officiating grade-8 Other than a soft yellow or two on RSL the officiating was solid.

RSL Man of the Match: Nat Borchers
Nat is retaking his title as the brick wall in center defense. He stopped everything that came his way (and quite a bit that went other ways). A great performance by Nat.

Besagno's Back?

Not sure if this is still true, but Nik Besagno may be back riding the pine here in Salt Lake as soon as tomorrow. According to his profile on the Sounders web site, "Nik Besagno comes to the Sounders on loan from Real Salt Lake for period between June 9, 2008 and September 9, 2008." The 9th, of course, is tomorrow. If he does come back, get your goodbyes in, I have a feeling he won't be back with the reds next year...

Game 23: RSL @ LAG: Broken result, broken leg

Sigh...kind of a tough game to watch. RSL really outplayed the Galaxy for 99% of the game and yet could only come away with a draw against a very beatable LA team. A Galaxy squad that was also missing Beckham and MLS's leading scorer Landon Donovan. Instead, RSL decided to use some defensive moves from RSL circa 05-07 to give up 2 goals to nobodies. And in the process, give up two points that will be very crucial coming down the stretch. In addition, the inevitable finally happened and Espi injured himself doing his celebratory backflip. To add insult to injury, the goal was waved off. To make matters worse, the official word is that Espi has broken his leg. Well, that was a nice 80 or so minutes he gave us since the first injury...
On the plus side, RSL did get a point on the road, which is sadly a vast improvement over their usual road result. In addition, Yura finally played a game where he didn't look 100% lost. His goal was just a right place, right time affair, but credit is due on the assist on the Johnson goal. That was a beautiful pass. Unfortunately, if you discount the 15 seconds that those plays took up, he was completely invisible in this match. At least it is a step in the right direction.
Overall, this is a game RSL could and should have won and one that will come back to haunt them. If RSL misses the playoffs, they will look back to this game as the point where it got away. That being said, they did outplay LA on the road and looked like a team that may be able to put a couple road results together yet.
GAME GRADE: B-

Individual Grades:
Nick Rimando-5 Put in a bad position on both goals, but if he's going to dive after the ball he needs to get it clear at the very least.
Chris Wingert-6 Pushed forward well, pretty good defensively.
Nat Borchers-5 See below
Jamison Olave-5 I wanted to give 6's across the board for the D, but those two insane scrambles that led to the goals (that prominently featured these 3) push them all down to a collective 5.
Ian Joy-5 See above
Will Johnson-8 Has been a great pickup; nice goal and was EVERYWHERE on the field.
Kyle Beckerman-7 Finally, some of the feistiness that's been missing.
Javier Morales-6 Meh.
Clint Mathis-5 Didn't really provide much of anything.
(Dema Kovalenko 67)-6 Nice to see Dema on the field.
Kenny Deuchar-6 Kept the defense honest throughout.
(Robbie Findley 75)-6 Why he came in so late is beyond me (did he run over Jason's stupid cry kids or something?); was ok after coming in.
Fabian Espindola-3 Broke his leg celebrating a goal that got called back...at least wait on the celebration until you know it stands!
(Yura Movsisyan 9)-7 Goal and (very nice) assist, yes, but invisible for the other 80 minutes he was on.
Coaching grade-6 JK lucked out with the Movs sub, but I'd still have liked to have seen Robbie get some extended minutes against a club that he would have something to prove to. Why exactly does Jason hate Robbie anyway? He seems to be SO reluctant to use him...
Refs grade-6 Would've been a 7, but really, does it really take 15 minutes to decide whether a goal stands or not? On top of that, there were a few foul calls both ways in this game that came in REALLY late. It almost seemed the ref was watching the game on tape delay or something...

RSL Man of the Match: Will Johnson
Scored a goal and, with Beckerman, was really the catalyst for the offense. On top of that, he worked hard defensively as well and was more than willing to mix it up.

Assclown of the Match: Fabian Espindola
I love ya, Espi, but 80 minutes between major injuries isn't going to cut it. Especially when it's 100% preventable...

US Open Cup

Congrats to Ben Cup rival DC United on winning the Open Cup over Charleston tonight. Well done ya blacks!

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack: Crapids vs. RSL 8/29

Hey everybody, sorry about the long break since the last post, I have fallen way behind. Between work and vacations and everything else, I have been pretty busy. I did finally get to watch a game live (on TV) last night (hooray!) and so I'll do some quick grades here to start getting back in the flow. I have work in a half hour and have the cold from hell so this is the best I can do for now! Enjoy.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-8 Positioning was good, made some key plays.
Chris Wingert-7 No big mistakes, played 90 in a shutout.
Nat Borchers-7 Got slightly caught off guard a couple times but otherwise solid.
Jamison Olave-8 RSL's defensive rock for the night.
Ian Joy-7 Played pretty well, pushed forward when opportunities arose.
(Robbie Russell 46)-7 Had a very similar game to Joy: quiet but good.
Will Johnson-7 He was active and looked to be helping to push the RSL attack
Kyle Beckerman-7 While still missing some of that spark from last year, he was feisty in the midfield.
Javier Morales-6 Disappeared for stretches, had 8,000 corner attempts, maybe 1 was any good. Long assist to Espi was nice though.
(Clint Mathis 81)-6 Wasn't on the field long enough to judge well.
Andy Williams-8 Played well both ways, his assist on the first goal was a thing of beauty.
Kenny Deuchar-6 Looked pretty active but blew a header and was a bit too unselfish.
Fabian Espindola-9 Simply amazing. Best player on the field by miles.
(Yura Movsisyan 72)-4 Why this guy is getting paid to play soccer is beyond me. Should've had 2 or 3 goals with the chances he had. On the flip side, much more active than usual.

Coaching grade: 5 The lineup seemed to play well together but points off for the subs. Yura Movsisyan should be working at Burger King, not being the first sub off the bench. If you're going to pull Espi, and not a mediocre Deuchar, at least put in Robbie "I score millions of goals as a sub" Findley over Movs. Hell, put a wheelchair bound grandmother in before you put in Movs.

Ref grade: 6 Decent, but a bit inconsistent. Second half was better than the first but (especially early) he would let hard, obvious fouls go, and then call ticky-tack little fouls that no one should ever call. But for the most part seemed fair and eventually got a handle on the game before it got too rough.

RSL Man of the Match: Fabian Espindola
Was there any doubt?

Assclown of the Match: The Crapids
In a surprisingly (and somewhat unfortunately) low-key RMC match, no one really stood out. So I give it to the whole Crapids organization, just for being them.

Game 18: RSL vs. Chicago: POST 100!

Everyone party! The Review turns 100 today! 100 posts that is. That's 100 entries of my pointless ramblings for your reading (dis)pleasure! To be honest, when I started this I wasn't sure how long it would last; I'm glad I've stuck with it, it's been fun! Anyway, enough of that, on to the review!


First half grade: B
RSL played what was probably their most aggressive half on the road so far in '08. The attacking mentality seemed to work with RSL creating many chances. Unfortunately, the coaching staff stuck with the goal-anorexic tandem of Movsisyan and Nunez for a second straight game, meaning that RSL would almost assuredly not score. And they didn't, even with some quality chances. While I did like the
attacking pressure shown by RSL (and I think with decent, aka our regular, forwards in there it would have paid off), it did leave the team open to counter attacks, which Chicago took advantage of with regularity. Chris Rolfe especially seemed to be dangerous going forward, especially with the help of Loungais' (er, I mean, Blanco's) quality passing. Still, with some hustle and some luck, and after a hard fought first half, RSL took the game to the locker room 0-0.

Second half grade: F
Ah yes, vintage RSL, how we have missed you. RSL came out extremely flat in the second half, while Chicago looked like they had exchanged jerseys with an actual soccer team at the half. The Fire came out firing (damn, that's a clever pun) and had tons of chances. Luckily for RSL, their attack looked about as limp as RSL's normally does. And really, the lone bright spot of the second half offensively for RSL was Robbie Findley, who came on at the half. For the second straight game, Robbie came out like a man possessed, causing havoc for Chicago all over. Unfortunately, his best chance came early in the half when he took a misplayed ball into the box, one-on-one with the keeper, Jon Busch. Robbie fired low to the near post, but Busch made an outstanding acrobatic save to just push the ball wide. In fact, both goalies in this game were outstanding. Not long after that, RSL seemed to give up on the game, I'm not really sure why. Instead of trying for the win, they just bunkered and tried to hold off wave after wave after wave of Chicago attacks. Sound familiar? It looked very much like Ellinger-era RSL, and it was terrible. The clearances were bad and often right back to the Fire. Positioning was often questionable as well. No attempt was made to hold possession or move the ball upfield. Very, very ugly. However, despite the poor play, with the help of a couple great saves by Little Nicky, the defense held on just long enough for RSL to escape Illinois with a 0-0 tie (and a sorely needed road point).

Pros:
-RSL steals a point on the road.
-Findley again looked sharp.
-Rimando looks to be rounding back into the form he showed last year (when he should have been MLS keeper of the year).
-RSL's defense somehow was able to keep the ball out of the net.
-The game was on KSL so we all could enjoy Bill Riley on the call.
-Real Salt Lake stays in first place for another week!

Cons:
-Morales decided to prove Steve Nicol right by having a terrible game.
-Beckerman still doesn't look right out there.
-The bunker ball needs to go! Play to win, boys, not to tie!
-Blanco is hard to watch, his diving is infuriating.

Game grade: D+
A pretty good first half is wiped out by an astonishingly bad second half. The team showed little passion or fight in the second, which does not bode well coming into the home stretch of the season, especially considering how many road games (7) the team has left. With only a one point lead in the conference (and with the teams behind them with a game, or even two, in hand), RSL needs to look to get as many points as possible. That means playing to win, not bunkering for an entire half.


Player grades:
Nick Rimando-9 This game featured two goalies on top of their game.
Chris Wingert-7 Seemed pretty solid in his first game back.
Nat Borchers-7 A little iffy early, became a brick wall late.
Jamison Olave-6 A few too many mistakes.
Ian Joy-6 Perhaps a little generous on the score, but this was possibly his best game for RSL.
Andy Williams-7 The only consistent performer in the midfield.
(Tony Beltran 89)-6 Wasn't on long enough to make an sort of impact.
Dema Kovalenko-6 Pretty bad early, had a solid second half.
Javier Morales-4 Pretty much useless all night. Even his free kicks were bad.
Kyle Beckerman-5 Touch is still terrible, played better very late.
Yura Movsisyan-6 First game I can recall not hating every second he was on the field.
(Kenny Deuchar 67)-6 Actually dribbled (well, tripped) around someone!
Tino Nunez-5 Not a good game for Tino.
(Robbie Findley 46)-7 Came out like a man possessed; once the team refused to attack, his influence waned.

Coaching staff-4 Yes, it's a road point, but the Nunez/Movs experiment must end now and allowing the team to play like that in the second half is unacceptable.

Referees (head ref: Ricardo Salazar)-6 Perhaps let a little too much go, but most of the calls were fair and he seemed to take control when needed. Overall, an average performance (which for MLS is probably an exceptional one!).

RSL Man of the Match:
Nick Rimando
Didn't have to make a lot of saves, due to some decent defending and poor attacking, but positioned himself well, and when he needed to make the big save, he did. Well done, Little Nicky!

Assclown of the Match:
Cuauhtemoc Blanco
Dude, seriously. Quit your diving and whining. It's obnoxious as anything. It's the sort of behavior expected of an...assclown...how fitting!

Ye Olde Royal Predictions: Week 17 and other assorted musings

I know, I know, I missed posting another week of predictions, but as usual, they were made and can be scored. But, to get back on top of things, here are this week's:

Thursday, July 17:
Kansas City 1 vs. THE 2

Saturday, July 19:
NTOTB 0 vs. Streamer Warehouse 3
LAG 3 vs. Non-Reynas 2
Crapids/Cripids 1 vs. Dallass 2
REAL SALT LAKE 1 vs. BSOF 1

Tuesday, July 22nd (odd day for a game, so it gets tacked onto this week):
Creamsickles 0 vs. Ben Cup Losers 2

As for the last two weeks' results...
Week 15: 2 correct (0 exact), 4 wrong (33%)
Week 16: 3 correct (1 exact), 2 wrong (60%, 20%)

MLS Season Total:
46-65 [8 exact] (41%, 7%)


In other news, Cletus himself, Mr. Clint "The Original RSL Bust" Mathis was spotted recently playing for the RSL reserves in a match against the school which shall not be named (it's in Hell Provo). Apparently, he is out of contract following his stint in Greece and needs somewhere to work out. While I don't see him signing with RSL (LAG still hold his MLS rights anyway), I can't say I'd be 100% against him being signed as a threat off the bench. That having been said, there are countless better options out there, and with two free International roster spots, let's hope RSL takes them.

Finally, in a blatant bid to win points at home, I want to say hi to my wonderful wife! :) She joined me at the Columbus game, which was a lot of fun and I appreciate, seeing as how she has little to no interest in sports. Interestingly enough, she actually made some very astute observations. The one that stands out in particular was her calling out of "number 5" (Becks) for being too hesitant and for not taking the lanes the defense was giving him. At one point (after he stalled an attack by pulling back with the ball even as he could've broken towards goal with it) she turned to me and said, "Why didn't he keep running up the field? No one was coming after him!" And, of course, I had been thinking basically the same thing. Great minds think alike I guess. Well done, honey! And, in fact, I've been thinking a lot about Kyle's performances lately, but that is planned for a whole separate post that I will be working on soon. Until then, enjoy the view from first place everyone! I know I am.

Game 17: THE Crew at RSL: Good buds, good times, good results

I finally made it to my second game of the year, this time accompanied by my lovely wife and a charming fellow by the name of DCU Ben (who, on a side note, was allowed 10 seconds to look at the Ben Cup before it was returned to its rightful place). With lovely weather and some good company, a good time was had by all. Anyway, on to the game!

First half grade: B
The Royals came out with a bang-bang combination. The first was the shocking forward line of Yura "I play like a 4th grader" Movsisyan and Tino "Still just a rookie" Nuñez. The second was Javi Morales' gorgeous free kick goal from just outside the area in the 4th minute. What a wonderful way to start off a game! From there Columbus looked shell-shocked, letting RSL control the game and mounting very little offensively. On the other hand, RSL was a bit sloppy and unnecessarily killed a few offensive opportunities by slowing the attack too much (especially Movs), but they play reasonably well for the most part and took a well deserved lead into halftime. 1-0 RSL.

Second half grade: C
Whatever was said and done in the Columbus locker room at halftime sure worked, as the Crew looked like a completely different team in the second half. Part of it I think stemmed from the realization that the combination of Nuñez and Yura posed no threat. On top of that, the Crew came out motivated and RSL looked a bit complacent. THE was able to mount attack after attack (aided by some shaky defending by the defenders, minus Olave), but poor finishing doomed them. However, that all changed in the 64th with the insertion of Robbie Findley. From the moment he stepped on the field, he looked like a man on a mission, just barely missing a goal wide in the 70th. Minutes later (with the help of a fresh Kenny Deuchar, on in the 69th), Findley gave RSL the insurance goal it sorely needed, taking a touch around the keeper and burying it in the top of the net. Columbus futiley tried to answer back, but to no avail, RSL wins 2-0, and takes over first place in the West for the first time ever.

Pros:
-Findley looked great.
-Morales' free kick.
-Olave once again was a beast in the back.
-RSL is in first!

Cons:
-The backline (minus Olave) was pretty awful.
-Especially Beltran, who was consistently hesitant AND out of position.
-Beckerman was also hesitant and mostly useless.
-The clock stopped at 45 and 90, making it so you had no idea how far into stoppage the game was.

Game grade: B-
Yes, it was a 2-0 win, but it was a surprisingly lackluster 2-0 win. With the exception of Olave and Findley, no one really stuck out and the front line of Nuñez and Movs proved useless. While I think Tino has a future and is just not ready for prime time yet, I presonally think it is time to let Yura on his merry way. The dude sucks period. He killed way too many attacks with his clumsy footwork and slow mind. Back to the game, it was, nevertheless, a solid win over a good team and topping the standings (although both LAG and TST are only a point behind with a game in hand) should do wonders for the confidence of the team.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-7 Tested little, but solid when called upon
Tony Beltran-3 Absolutely awful. Mistake prone on nearly every play all game.
Nat Borchers-5 Some good plays, others were awful.
Jamison Olave-8 Nearly single-handedly shut out the Crew.
Ian Joy-5 Pretty meh.
Andy Williams-6 OK game, didn't seem to do a lot.
(Nathan Sturgis 89)-6 Very short appearance, nice to see him on the field!
Dema Kovalenko-6 Poor early, but really came on late.
Javier Morales-6 Brilliant goal, kind of dissapeared afterwards.
Kyle Beckerman-4 Poor touches, bad decisions, and worst of all, seemingly none of the passion he is known for.
Yura Movsisyan-3 Absolutely useless. I can has pink slip?
(Robbie Findley 64)-8 A one-man wrecking crew. Really should have had two or three.
Tino Nunez-5 OK, but not ready to basically be a lone striker (Movs didn't count).
(Kenny Deuchar 69)-6 Active, and got an assist, but missed a gimme goal.

RSL Man of the Match:
Robbie Findley and the kid in about row 20 of E37 (TIE)
Robbie changed the whole face of the game by providing RSL with strike ability that they had been lacking all game. He then put the game away with a sweet 78th minute goal. The kid earns it for his priceless line halfway through the national anthem: (in a whiny five-year-old voice) "Do I have to stand up?" Priceless.

Assclown of the Match:
The people running the scoreboard at Rice-Eccles
I wanted to give it to Schelotto for his Blanco-worthy diving, but I'm giving it to the crew at the stadium for not keeping the clock running into extra time like they usually do. Fat lot of good it does us to know there are four minutes of extra time when we don't even know how far into extra time we are. KEEP THE CLOCKS RUNNING, ASSCLOWN!

Cleaning House (Cordobas, Predictions, and Grades; oh my!)

Yes, I know there has been a distinct lack of content here on the Review as of late. I apologize and throw myself at the mercy of the soccer gods! ...Or something. Actually, I recently got a new job and am currently having a very difficult time adjusting to the hours, which has made it hard to keep the site up. I'll try and keep it up better in the future. Anyway, on to all that needs to be done!

First off, if you missed it, Matias Cordoba is gone, back to Argentina (thanks, SL Tribune). Apparently, he was upset with the paltry amount of playing time he'd gotten. Of course, if he'd shown ANYTHING in that playing time, maybe he'd have gotten more; I'm just sayin'. That means RSL has two roster spots and, if I recall correctly, they also have two international slots available. Hopefully Jason and Garth can get us a striker (Archie dammit! Or even Indra perhaps?) and another attacking minded midfielder or outside back (Kipre, come home!). Actually, let me revise that, hopefully they can get us someone who can actually put the ball in the net. That would be a nice change.

Secondly, let's get back up to date with 'Ye Olde Royal Predictions.' Here's my picks for this week:

Thursday, July 3rd:
Creamsickles 2 vs. REAL SALT LAKE 3

Friday, July 4th (Happy 232!):
Kansas City 1 vs. Dallas 2
Energy Bovines 0 vs. Crapids/Cripids 2
NERds 3 vs. LAG 2

Saturday, July 5th:
Chicago BSOF 1 vs. Columbus The 2
NTOTB 2 vs. TST 2

Last 2 weeks' results:
Week 13: 2 right (1 exact), 7 wrong (22%, 11%)
Week 14: 3 right (1 exact), 4 wrong (43%, 14%)

MLS Season Total:
41-59 [7 exact] (41%, 7%)

And finally, here are the player grades for the ugliness that was RSL at Kansas City:
Nick Rimando-7 Distribution lacking, but solid keeping.
Tony Beltran-3 Beat all night, passed to opposition, scored an own goal.
Nat Borchers-5 Missed a few marks, clearances were fairly poor.
Jamison Olave-8 A beast all night.
Chris Wingert-5 Too many passing mistakes.
Andy Williams-5 OK, but seemed to wear out in the 2nd half.
(Kenny Cutler 80)-5 Didn't have much effect on the game.
Dema Kovalenko-5 More poor passing by an RSL player.
Javier Morales-4 As leader of the offense, needs to do a LOT more.
Kyle Beckerman-7 Feisty and all over the place. Good game.
Robbie Findley-6 OK considering he was out of position all night.
(Tino Nunez 69)-5 Barring one play, largely invisible.
Kenny Deuchar-5 Wore down early 2nd, needs to shoot AROUND defenders, not INTO them.
(Yura Movsisyan 69)-5 Looked energized against his old team. Lots of effort, no results; needs to pass now and then.

Jason Kreis-4 The 4-5-1 got beat all night. Findley is NOT a middie. Taking out Findley AND Kenny for Tino and Yura???!?!

Officials (Head Ref: Alex Prus)-4 Let way too many tackles from behind go, often when an RSL player was headed towards the 18. Let the game turn ugly.

RSL Man of the Match:
Jamison Olave-Forget OnGoal, Olave owns the Wizards!

Assclown of the Match:
Jason Kreis-Ah yes, Professor Kreis! How goes your "How Not To Coach A Soccer Game 101" class?

Like I said, I will do my best to keep the site up in the future! Thanks for sticking with the site, I appreciate it!

Game 13: SJ vs. RSL: What's Indra Up To These Days?

Turdriffic. That's the word I'd use to describe RSL's latest 0-0 debacle at Rice-Eccles. That now makes it two straight home games where RSL has thoroughly outplayed the competition and not been able to win. I guarantee that those 4 points will come back to haunt RSL by season's end. Even now, it would put RSL near the top in the West. But I digress, on to the review!

First Half Grade: C-
A very boring first half. In fact, at different times I got up and went and got something to drink and then later to make a sandwich. Of course, I didn't miss much. The highlight was Jason Hernandez's stupid foul on Findley in the 44th for his second yellow (ie a red). Although it was scoreless at halftime, things were looking up for RSL. They had slightly outplayed San Jose at even strength; up a man, how could they not win?

Second Half Grade: F
By being RSL, that's how they could not win! A complete lack of finishing, which resulted in a game total of 24 shots, with a whopping FOUR on goal (according to the MLSnet Match Tracker). That's a whopping 17%! Seriously, I'll get paid to play soccer if that's as well as you have to do! Sign me up! Anyway, combine that with a very lacksadaisical attitude and an odd substitution of Nunez for Deuchar not even 60 minutes in and you have a 0-0 tie, even with the extra man. This was vintage RSL: shots missing the goal by 30 feet and no one providing any life or passion. Meanwhile, Kreis stoically stood on the sideline (at least, every time they showed him he was). Dude needs to get on his team, light a fire under them. They obviously weren't going to do it themselves. So while RSL completely controlled the second half, due to the man advantage, their lack of heart and attack leads to an F.

Pros:
-RSL still unbeaten at home.
-Rimando gets his third straight clean sheet.
-The defense looked pretty good when tested early on.
-We get Andy back next game right?

Cons:
-No passion at all. I think I cared if they won more than they did!
-Nunez showed me nothing in extended minutes.
-Is it too soon to call Cordoba a bust? He's done nothing in 2 straight starts.
-No one on RSL seems capable of keeping shots on frame.
-After only one game away, RSL seemed to forget how to play the turf.
-RSL really didn't (or couldn't because of poor passing) play the possesion game that led them to the last win over NTOTB.
-RSL has blown 4 easy points in their last two at home.
-You have to beat the expansion team, those are points ripe for the taking.

Game grade: D-
I really wanted to give RSL an F for this one, but they did only tie, not lose. So as awful as this result was, there were some minor positives. Although it resulted in nothing, RSL did try to attack and did control the game when they had the man advantage, as they should. Unfortunately, this was one of those games where by about 70 minutes in, you could tell RSL wouldn't score. Sure enough, I was right. But far outweighing any positives was the lack of passion showed. Kudos to the RSL fans who booed the team at the game's end. If that's all the effort they will give, they deserve it.

Player Grades:
Nick Rimando-7 Solid when tested.
Tony Beltran-6 Active but needs to do more with the ball on both ends.
Jamison Olave-7 Helps get a 3rd straight clean sheet.
Kyle Beckerman-6 Decent game, but as captain, needs to inspire his team.
Nat Borchers-7 See Olave.
Matias Cordoba-4 The guy is invisible when on the field.
(Kenny Cutler 67)-5 One of the few with any life, but didn't do much.
Robbie Findley-6 Generous 6; drew a red card, only legit threat in the 2nd.
Javier Morales-6 Some nice plays, but not his best effort.
Kenny Deuchar-5 For someone known for headers, his sure suck.
(Tino Nunez 57)-4 Too tentative.
Chris Wingert-6 Decent game, turf ate him up a couple times.
Dema Kovalenko-7 Starting to impose himself on games again.

RSL Man of the Match:
Dema Kovalenko - A tough call. Another game where no one really wanted it or stood out. Dema gets it for his hard-nosed play and for being one of the few at least trying to attack late, even if his shots were horrible. An A (well, A- maybe) for effort.


Assclown of the Match:
The whole officiating crew - I agree, Beckerman was offsides on the "goal" in the 73rd, I*'m fine with that. However, you CAN NOT wait for 3 minutes, after a complete goal celebration and everything and then call it back. If you don't make the call, you didn't make the call. I really think the assistant waited for a replay on the video screen and then made his call. Poor.

Game 12: RSL vs. TST: Some Home (Depot) Improvement

Well, while RSL certainly made it much more adventurous than it needed to be, they did go on the road, to the place where RSL teams go to die, and pulled out a 1-0 victory. The win at Chivas TST was RSL's first road win on the season and will hopefully start the team down the right path for the rest of the year.

First Half Grade: B
No, it wasn't pretty, but RSL played TST even (if not a little better) for most of the half. Neither team looked real sharp, but for a team that has struggled as much as they have on the road, especially in the Home Depot Center, RSL looked pretty good. While both teams struggled to create any definitive chances, it was RSL who was able to bust through. In the 34th minute, Kyle Beckerman played a nice ball forward from the midfield. Robbie Findley ran free and onto the ball, which drew TST keeper Dan Kennedy out of the goal. Robbie took the ball, ran past a chasing Klejstan, around a charging Kennedy, and buried the ball into the back of the net. 1-0 RSL. TST turned up the attack after the goal, forcing RSL into some pressure situations, but never really got anything on net. Halftime score: 1-0.

Second Half Grade: D
Wow. Not just ugly, but OOGLAY! Apparently Jason's speech at halftime was: OK, we got a goal, now everybody sit back in the final third and try to repress wave after wave of TST attack for 45 minutes. I hate this "Let's play not to lose" mentality, and it has cost RSL more times than I can count. In this game, it almost cost them again, as TST attacked again and again and again and again. Credit to Olave and Borchers who repelled TST over and over. Chivas TST's best chance probably came in the 53rd, when Utah native Justin Braun (who couldn't possibly have been onside, but I digress) ran free into the 18 and put a hard shot directly into the arms of Nick Rimando. Little Nicky did a good job cutting off the angle, but credit to Braun for making that one WAY too easy for Nick. Finally, around the 80-85th minute, RSL remembered they were allowed to hold possesion and even move forward in attack and easily killed the rest of the game. Despite facing a deluge of shots in the second half, with the help of some poor TST finishing, RSL was able to "Kansas City" their way to the shutout. Final score 1-0, RSL.

Pros:
-Findley scores again.
-The two center backs look very legit.
-Beckerman seems back to his old active, pestering self.
-Morales was all over.
-Justin Braun can't shoot.
-Rimando was solid.
-Tino Nunez looked pretty good.
-A WIN AT THE HOME DEPOT CENTER!!!

Cons:
-Cordoba looks lost out there.
-Second half tactics were, to be kind, atrocious.
-Another card for Olave. He's pulling a Mantilla 2007.

Game Grade: C
I can't really be too harsh, as RSL went on the road, where they are awful, to the HDC, where they are awful, and beat Chivas TST, which is always nice (suck it, Luis Bueno!). A very painful second half, but RSL showed some character in hanging on and earning the win. Now back home to face San Jose yet again, which will be tough. Can RSL beat them again for the 500th time in the last month or will the NTOTB finally have RSL's number?

Player Grades:
Nick Rimando-7 Solid when tested
Tony Beltran-7 Some iffy tackles but good
Nat Borchers-8 A brick wall in the back.
Jamison Olave-8 Big, enforcer style game; I love it!
Chris Wingert-6 Decent game, let "Whiny Sacha" get in his head a bit.
Dema Kovalenko-7 Much more of a factor than he had been recently.
Matias Cordoba-4 Did he play?
(Yura Movsisyan 62)-4 Mostly a non-factor, left injured after 25 min.
(Kenny Cutler 87)-6 Team seemed to settle when he came in.
Robbie Findley-7 Had a goal, and looked good even out of position in the 2nd.
Javier Morales-7 Pestered the goats all over the field.
Kyle Beckerman-7 Nice to see the old Kyle back.
Kenny Deuchar-6 Once again, hustled, but little else. Is he a bust?
(Tino Nunez 80)-7 Limited minutes, but pushed forward well.

RSL Man of the Match:
Jamison Olave - When Kreis decided he didn't want to win, but just "not to lose," it was Borchers and Olave who stepped it up. Both were great, but Jamison gets the nod for a couple well-timed, crucial tackles and clears, but mostly for the tough guy attitude that ran through his game all night long. Well done.

Assclown of the Match:
Jason Kreis - I wanted to give it to "Whiny Sacha" Klejstan for his incessant complaining (what is it about LA and whiny athletes/coaches? See: Kobe Bryant, Phil Jackson, the rest of the Lakers, Landon Donovan, etc. etc. etc.), but Jason won it with his tactical "brilliance." A not-even-totally-fit Yura Movsisyan at right mid? Robbie Findley seemingly playing left wing back? The complete bunker ball strategy employed the whole second half? As the kids say, "WTF?"

The Royal Rankings #8

After a week off from the rankings, I'm baaaaack. Last week was a bit crazy and the rankings reflect that. Here we go!

14 NTOTB - Seriously, if they get OUT of 14th, it will be huge.
13 Chivas TST - Lost to RSL in the Royal Burial Grounds (aka HDC).
12 Kansas City - Finally get a home game...and lose 3-0.
11 Energy Bovines - Shocked and awed in DC.
10 Cripids/Crapids - Playing poorly as of late.
09 REAL SALT LAKE - Finally get the elusive road win, in the most unlikely of places.
08 Dallass - Solid win over Chicago.
07 Creamsickles - Dominated by New England at home.
06 Ben Cup Losers - Finally rounding into form.
05 Toronto Streamer Warehouse - Very strong home win over the Crapids.
04 Chicago's BSOF - Coming down off the early season high.
03 LAG - Defense is holding enough to let the big O win games for them.
02 Columbus - Break the goal drought with a big 3-0 win in KC's homecoming.
01 NERds - VERY impressive in dismantling Houston in Texas.

Game of the week:
(#2) Columbus travels to California to take on the red hot (#3) Galaxy.

Ye Olde Royal Predictions: Week 13

Still working on getting through the TST game before tonight's game, but I wanted to get the predictions up on time this week for once.

Wednesday, June 18th:
Energy Bovines 0 vs. NERds 2
NTOTB 2 vs. REAL SALT LAKE 3

Thursday, June 19th:
Chicago's BSOF 2 vs. TST 1

Saturday, June 21st:
KC 1 vs. Streamer Warehouse 2
Dallass 1 vs. Energy Bovines 1
NERds 2 vs. REAL SALT LAKE 1
Creamsickles 2 vs. Crapids/Cripids 2
THE* 2 vs. LAG 3

Sunday, June 22nd:
NTOTB 1 vs. Ben Cup Losers 3

*THE is my newest reference for Columbus because of the stupid "THE Crew" in their logo. If it's on their logo, it's their name. Presenting the Columbus THE. (Yes, I'm reaching)

Last week's results:
A solid, plus-.500 week. And honestly, I hate to mark myself down for the RSL game, did ANYONE see that coming? Didn't think so.
4 right (0 exact), 3 wrong (57%)

Season Total:
36-48 [5 exact] (43%, 6%)

Game 11: KC vs. RSL Grades

I'm finally trying to get the Review back up-to-date so here's the grades for the 0-0 draw-that-feels-like-a-loss (DTFLAL) against Kansas City on June 7th.

1st Half Grade: B
2nd Half Grade: B
Both halves were very similar, with RSL dominating the possesion and attacking consistently. They also ended up with nothing to show on the scoreboard.

Game Grade: C+
How do two Bs make a C+? I'll tell you. If you thoroughly outplay your opponents and create as many chances as RSL did over 90 minutes and don't win, well, you don't deserve much more than a C+.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-6 Got the clean sheet with no effort required
Tony Beltran-6 Very up and down game
Nat Borchers-7 KC didn't test him much, but when they did, they were denied.
Jamison Olave-6 Played well, but had a few too many mental mistakes.
Chris Wingert-6 Pretty quiet game for Chris.
Andy Williams-6 Involved but nothing special.
(Matias Cordoba 70)-5 I think I saw more of him when he was on the bench!
Dema Kovalenko-6 Decent game for Dema
Javier Morales-7 Really making himself the catalyst for this team.
Kyle Beckerman-7 2nd half was his best effort in a while.
Kenny Deuchar-4 Needs to finish some of these golden opportunities.
(Tino Nunez 76)-6 Didn't really get a lot of time
Robbie Findley-5 Finishing wasn't as egregious as Kenny's, but still awful.

RSL Man of the Match:
Javier Morales - Most of the good offensive opportunities for RSL were created by Javi. His confidence is visibly through the roof and it is paying dividends on the field.

Assclown of the Match:
Kevin Hartman - Dude played out of his mind and somehow pulled a clean sheet out of his behind. Couldn't you have just let one sneak by Kevin? Really? Way to harsh our buzz, man! (There weren't too many good candidates in this one, so I gave it to Hartman for single-handedly stealing the points from RSL).

Ye Olde Royal Predictions: Week 12: FM 2008 is the devil!

So I've gotten sucked back into Football Manager 2008 (well, Worldwide Soccer Manager, but it's the same thing) and, as a result, the Review is suffering. But, quickly, here are my week 12 predictions (as before, all predictions were made before this week's games-proven by my painfully wrong prediction on Thursday's game):

Thursday, June 12th:
NERds 1 vs. Creamsickles 1

Saturday, June 14th:
Crapids 1 vs. Streamer Warehouse 2
Energy Bovines 0 vs. Unitedwagen 2
THE Crew (seriously, does their logo need the word 'The'?) 1 vs. Wiz 2
LAG 3 vs. NTOTB 1
REAL SALT LAKE 0 vs. TST 3

Sunday, June 15th:
Blanco School of Flopping (BSOF) 1 vs. Dallass 2

I hate to make that prediction for RSL, but they are headed to the HDC this weekend. Also known as the 'Royal Burial Grounds'. But trust me, I would like nothing more than a big RSL win over tst. GO RSL!

Last week's results:
BIG week for me! It's about time!
5 correct (1 exact), 2 wrong (71%)

Season Total:
32-45 [5 exact] (42%, 6%)

And, oh yes, never fear RSL fans! If my game is correct (and we can all hope that it is), RSL WILL win the MLS Cup this year. Of course, they also should have won the Open Cup this year for that logic to work, but we can conveniently forget that part, right?

News and Notes, Thoughts and Opinions

First off, thanks to all who voted in the Royal Review Color poll, the current RSL scheme has won out. However, the black and white scheme did pull enough votes for me to look into viable options for those people. If I get time to try a few things, I will let you know. As for now, enjoy the colors of the homeland! :)

In place of the old color scheme poll I have added a new one. In your eyes, who is RSL's player of the year so far? I took the top 6 (it would have been 5, but two players were tied for 5th) players in my season long player grades and put them on there. I'm just curious to see what the rest of RSL-land (and MLS-land) thinks.

As everyone knows by now, Real Madrid cancelled its 2008 exhibition with RSL, hopefully to the surprise of no one. The "partnership" between the teams has always been shaky at best. The Madrid sponsored youth academy? No where to be found. The loaning of promising young stars? Hasn't happened. The biannual (every two years) friendly in Salt Lake? Well, we got 1 (out of five). So basically, this partnership that was supposed to be so fruitful for RSL has ended with RSL getting 1 friendly, 1 preseason training at Madrid's facilities, and the shaft. And worse yet, RSL doesn't seem upset about it. In the linked article, Lagerwey even admits he doesn't know if RSL will be compensated for the missed friendly. You know, the one specified by a legally binding contract. RSL front office: Grow a pair. Stand up to someone besides your own fans. China's national team doesn't pay your bills. Neither does RM. The fans do. Fight for them (not against them) and for yourselves once in a while, damn.

There's a decent article in the SL Tribune today about Nate Sturgis. It basically reiterates what I said months and months ago, this kid is ALWAYS injured. He is RSL's Mark Prior. I feel bad for him, especially after the article pointed out something I hadn't thought of: if his injury doesn't heal up soon, he won't be fit enough to play in the Olympics. That would be a heartbreaker. For Nathan's sake, I hope he heals up soon and gets to go to Beijing. I mean, seriously, who doesn't dream of being in the Olympics?

Finally, to the Fox Soccer Channel: Please hire me as Max Bretos's pronunciation guide. His mangling of the names of players and places has gotten to be too much. And even better, I come cheap (just ask my current employer!). Yours, Ben.

The Royal Rankings #7

14 NTOTB - A decent expansion team, but an expansion team nevertheless.
13 Unitedwagen - When will this team show up?
12 REAL SALT LAKE - Big win, but need to do it away from the U.
11 Dallas - RSL has got to still be kicking themselves over that one.
10 Kansas City - Last 4 league games: loss, loss, tie, loss.
09 Energy Drinks - Altidore on the move
08 Houston - Playing much better after a slow start.
07 Chivas TST - Big win over the Niña, Pinta, and Santa Maria.
06 LAG - Pretty weak without Beckham and Donovan.
05 Columbus - Zero goals in their last three league games. Ouch.
04 Crapids/Cripids - Still on top in the West.
03 Toronto Streamer Warehouse - Nice to see Cunningham on the score sheet.
02 NERds - On top by 1 pt. the East, but Chicago has 2 games in hand and a whopping +11 advantage in goal diff.
01 Ow! The Fire! It burns! - Cuauhtemoc Louganis and friends keep on rollin'.

Ye Olde Royal Predictions: Week 11

Wednesday, June 4th:
Creamsickles 1 vs. Ben Cup Losers 2

Thursday, June 5th:
TST 1 vs. Energy Drinks 2

Friday, June 6th:
Texas Stripes 1 vs. NERds 3

Saturday, June 7th:
NTOTB 1 vs. Columbus 3
Ben Cup Losers 0 vs. Where There's Smoke... 2
Takin A KC Wiz 2 vs. REAL SALT LAKE 2
Crapids/Cripids 2 vs. LAG 3

Sunday, June 8th:
Streamer Warehouse 1 vs. Creamsickles 2

Last week's results:
Another week, another similar result. Hopefully this week will get me out of the rut!
3 correct (1 exact-the RSL game, YES!), 4 wrong (43%, 14%)

Season Total:
27-43 [4 exact] (39%, 6%)

Game 10: Shakin the Quakes: NTOTB vs. RSL

Wow. Can we take that 20-25 minutes to start the second half and play that way for 90 minutes? Seriously, it makes the bad play all the more frustrating when you see what the team is actually capable of...

1st Half Grade: D
I'm not sure how this was the same team we saw in the second half. RSL was gifted a penalty early after a handball in the box. Javi proceeded to step up, use his body language to tell everyone where he was going, and then weakly kick it directly at Joe Cannon. Honestly one of the worst penalty takes I've seen. The rest of the half was vintage RSL...by both teams. Ugly pinball play in the midfield, few, if any, scoring chances, just very blah. An odd substitution came right before half, with Findley coming on for a fine-looking but apparently injured Espi. It seemed odd at the time, but didn't strike me as being too important. Boy, was I wrong... Halftime: 0-0.

2nd Half Grade: A-
Praise the Lord! Robbie Findley has remembered he is good! After making SJ defender Jason Hernandez look like, well, ME, he thenran to the edge of the box and absolutely blistered home a shot near post, getting it right past the outstretched arms of Cannon. Boom, 1-0. The goal seemed to finally energize the royals, with RSL dominating the next 20 minutes of play. In fact, I don't recall NTOTB making it past midfield on an attack more than maybe once in that whole span. Another brilliant goal came in the 60th, when Javi came screaming upfield. Smartly, he held onto the ball for as long as possible, drawing two defenders, before laying it off to Findley. Sensing the danger, both defenders turned to go at Robbie, who read the play perfectly and put a brilliant one-touch pass forward to a wide open Javi. Morales took the ball, and after a perfect extra touch to pull Cannon off his line, put the ball expertly behind Cannon and into the net. The RSL flurry continued with a couple of possible (but would-have-been-weak) shirt-pulling PKs going uncalled while a suddenly renewed Deuchar wreaked havoc in the box. RSL finally got its second PK, although not from Kenny, in the 73rd after Morales put a perfect ball into the box for Williams who was dragged down from behind by Nick Garcia as he prepped the shot. Smartly, the Reds kept Javi far away from the spot and Kovalenko stepped up, waited for Cannon to commit, and then went the opposite way for the third goal. 3-0 RSL. So why not an A or even A+ for the half? After going up 3-0, RSL got lazy. Meanwhile, SJ pressed, trying to salvage anything from the game. It didn't matter, that is, until John Cunliffe decided to take the game over. He took a brilliant back heel pass at the top of the box in the 84th and blasted it past Little Nicky to dirty up the clean sheet. He nearly did it again just minutes later, just missing the top left corner on another rifle shot. Luckily for RSL, the shot missed and any possible lifeline for the visitors was cut. Final score: RSL 3 - NTOTB 1.

Pros:
-Findley returns to form.
-Deuchar finally showed up in the second half.
-Javier Morales continues to be an assist machine.
-The defense (both on the backline and from the midfield) did well before letting the 3 goal lead get to their heads.
-The team showed better vision in creating attacks.
-RSL continues their home form, something they HAVE to do, given their road woes.

Cons:
-Much of the first half was awful.
-The midfield refused to settle a ball and try and hold possession in the first half.
-RSL quit playing after building the lead.
-Espi left injured.

Game grade: B-
A tough game to grade. When RSL was on, they looked like world beaters (granted, it was against an expansion side, but they still looked THAT good), but for the first half and the last 15-20 minutes, they looked pretty mediocre. Overall, I think it's a solid win, but I'd like to see a better effort over a whole 90 minutes.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-6 Didn't have much to do.
Tony Beltran-6 See above.
Nat Borchers-6 Did get beat on the goal, but looked good otherwise.
Jamison Olave-7 Solid game by Jamison, although, again, the D didn't have much to do.
Chris Wingert-7 Have to give him credit as every attack seemed to go down the left side.
Andy Williams-7 Active and attacking, earned a PK as well.
Dema Kovalenko-5 Had a goal, but was otherwise nonexistent.
Javier Morales-7 Goal and basically 2 assists, but a missed PK and poor 1st half.
(Matias Cordoba 79)-5 Pretty blah after coming on.
Kyle Beckerman-5 Did better in the 2nd, but never really made his mark.
Kenny Deuchar-6 Bad first half, second half was his best effort in ages.
(Tino Nunez 85)-6 Too little time to really judge.
Fabian Espindola-6 One of the few even decent players early.
(Robbie Findley 45)-8 Almost a 9, just a brilliant game from #10.

RSL Man of the Match:
Robbie Findley - It's gotta be him. The whole complexion of the game changed after he entered and his goal woke up the whole squad. On top of that, his goal was a thing of beauty and he capped it off with a perfect assist to Javi. Is Robbie finally rounding into form?

Assclown of the Match:
Max Bretos - For the last !@#$ing time, it's Robbie FindLEY and WaSATCH not Findlay and Wasottch. Friggin hell.

Game 9: RSL vs. FCD Player Grades

Hey, cut me some slack, I'm only a week and a half late! Ha ha! Anyway, I just wanted to post some grades for the Dallas game so that all my season rankings and such still are correct.

Nick Rimando-7
Chris Wingert-6
Nat Borchers-3 Was at least partially responisble for both goals.
Jamison Olave-6 Defense held until he came off
(Matias Mantilla 77)-5
Ian Joy-4 Sadly, RSL's best player going forward in the first half, but can't forget the red.
Dema Kovalenko-5
Kyle Beckerman-4
Andy Williams-4
Javier Morales-5
Kenny Deuchar -4
(Fabian Espindola 54)-6
Robbie Findley-6 Thoroughly outplayed Deuchar, yet comes off instead of Kenny...
(Kenny Cutler 46)-4

RSL Man of the Match:
Nick Rimando - None of the field players earned it, and both goals were not Nick's fault. I have to give it to someone, so I give it to Nick and his 5 saves.

Assclown of the Match:
TIE Bobby Rhine and Jason Kreis - Rhine for his complete overreaction and unnecessary "assault" of Javi Morales. Kreis for his inexplicable substitution patterns.