Complete and Total Horses***

Now I will do my best to control my urge to post a profanity-fueled tirade here, but there are foul things afoot concerning this Saturday's HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE, and ENORMOUS game against our old friends, the Crapids.
I sat down to set the dvr to record the game and noticed that I couldn't find it. "Hmm...how odd" I thought. So I went into the search mode and tried "Real", "Salt", and even "Rapids". No dice. I start getting desperate. Maybe it's listed weird, something like "RSL @ Colorado" or "MLS Soccer". Nothing, not even after a triple check of Directkick. Fox Soccer Channel? Nope. Well, maybe I'm remembering wrong and it's on Sunday...dammit, no. Maybe it's tonight (even though I know the bovines are on the ESPN game)? Nope, not here either. "Well, what the hell? Where is..." and then it hit me, "Oh no...oh HELL no. Please God don't let it be so... Is this game on that scourge of MLS telecasts, HDNet???" I run to the computer. Bingo. "Aw, shit."
The biggest game in RSL's history. The Rocky Mountain Cup. A chance for RSL to finally make the playoffs. Win and keep playing, lose and go home. And it's on HDNet. Where 95% of RSL fans will not see it. And because of MLS's b.s. deal with Cuban's nightmare, no rebroadcasts. No highlights even. A total blackout. And that, my friends, is complete and total horseshit. Guess I can always curl up with the ol' Victrola and listen to the dulcet tones of Bill Riley. It's my only option, actually. Way to screw your fans, MLS...well done.

PS-Since I won't be seeing it, I will again be relying on all you on these tubes we call the internet to give me your player grades from the game (those of you who actually see the game that is). As always, your contributions are always appreciated.

PPS-Dear Mark Cuban,
You can make this up to me. It won't be cheap or easy, but it is possible. Up your bid for the Cubs (and Wrigley) to something outrageous and ensure that there is no way you won't get the team. Then invest the kinds of resources into the Cubbies that you do into the Mavs. Proceed to win the World Series. Upon completion of this task, making me miss this game will be forgiven. I promise.
Sincerely,
Ben