Sunday, November 22, 2009

MLS Cup 2009-Live Thoughts

I'm not sure how much I'll actually do (I want to watch the game!) but I'm going to try and throw up some thoughts as the game goes on...

9th minute-Defense looking a bit shaky. Donovan gets the ball in the box but is too slow with it. Play develops into a pretty clear header for Buddle, luckily put wide.

11th-Javi wastes a free kick straight on about 45 yds out, puts it directly over the end line.

12th-Beckham has the worst hairdo ever. Worse than a mullet. Gonna call it "the douchecut" as it is, indeed, quite douchy.

17th-Javi looks hurt after Beckham chops his legs out from under him. Announcer says "I didn't see a foul there." Makes me think that if you're going to commentate a game you should probably actually watch the game.

19th-Sounds like a knee injury for Javi, but he's going to come back on, at least for a while.

20th-Yura beats his man and then finds a new creative way to blow it by falling down. Javi about done, Cleetus going to come on for him.

22nd-Javi crying as he comes off, my wife feels really bad for him (understandably so). She thinks it sucks for him that he has to go out once he makes it all the way to the final.

25th-Findley wide open run, but called offside. Looked very borderline, looks like the AR are calling this (too) conservatively.

28th-Terrible corner call for LA. Looks like they're going to get all the calls, as, sadly, expected.

30th-Neither team showing much in the attack, basically back and forth in the midfield so far.

32nd-Andy with a long shot, misses quite wide, but at least he's going for goal.

34th-RSL losing basically every header, that could become an issue sooner rather than later.

36th-Terrible transition defense by RSL, Magee misses an open shot JUST wide.

37th-RSL has been trying to push forward but looks totally impotent in the final 3rd. Not even getting chances, too many turnovers.

41st-RSL's terrible defending finally kills them. Open Beckham to open Donovan to open Magee, goal.

42nd-RSL looks done. This looks like RSL defense circa 2005.

44th-Salt Lake obviously missing Javi, team looking lost in the final third.

45th +-Borchers gets a head to it but right to Ricketts.

45th +2-Yura forced to rush a shot in the box, puts it 40 feet high. Hate to say it, especially since he's scored some clutch goals in his day, but I will not miss him and his absolutely atrocious finishing.

Halftime-Defense, especially the outside backs, looks terrible. Midfield forcing too much and turning it over way too much. LA sitting back and waiting for the counter and RSL can't break it. Kreis being outcoached and the team sorely misses Javi. Both forwards look pretty useless, especially Yura, who has provided nothing positive. This is going to take an even better effort than we saw after going down 2-0 at Columbus. With Javi hurt and WillJ sick, I'm not sure RSL's got it in the tank...

46th-Will-J must be too sick to go on, Grabavoy on for him at half. 1 sub left-yikes!

47th-Findley breaks free, bad touch and unable to get onto it well. Robbie, Ricketts, and Omar Gonzalez collide. Robbie and Ricketts hurt.

52nd-Finally back to action, everyone still in.

54th-Getting chippy. Hope the Findley play wasn't the best look RSL is going to get.

58th-Free kick LA, just outside the box just off center. Douchecut Dave to take it. Hits the wall.

60th-Yura takes too long to shoot, possible PK, somehow a call on RSL. Ref's paycheck obviously written in LA.

62nd-RSL player literally thrown to the ground. No card from referee LA Joe. Apparently armed robbery is the only way the Gals will get a card.

64th-Scramble in the box, ball falls to Robbie Findley, goal RSL. Hell yes! Back in this!

66th-Ricketts' hurt hand comes back to get him, he's subbed out.

69th-Momentum with RSL right now. Need to capitalize while we can.

71st-Beckerman is a man among boys out there. Starts an RSL break, Ned with a beautiful ball to Yura who again blows it, this time with a shot about 20 feet high. Damn...

74th-Russell with a turnover reminiscent of the Columbus game. This time he recovers and shoves Landycakes off the ball.

75th-RSL takes Yura out for the last time, Espi in. I hate to see the last sub already, but Yura was worse than awful tonight.

80th-Former Red Chris Klein in for the Gals.

85th-RSL leaving Douchecut Dave wide open. LA pushing for the game winner.

87th-Game opening up, if there's as much injury time as there should be, we could have a game winner in regulation. Gonzalez hurt now...

90th-7 minutes of injury time. Espi playing terribly, puts a cross into the side netting.

90+7th-Andy Williams slips in the box and a golden chance goes unused.

End of Regulation-RSL a different team in the 2nd half. This one could go either way, but LA having a sub left works in their favor. Unfortunately, recent history suggests LA wins this, having put 2 on Houston in overtime in the Western Conference Final, while RSL could only go 0-0. PKs have to favor any team with Nick Rimando in net, so if we get there I like our chances.

98th-Findley a heartbreaker into the side netting.

101st-Mathis with a free kick just outside the box, again into the side netting. RSL having the better of it, but nothing to show for it. RSL wasting too many attacks with long shots.

Extra Time Halftime-RSL wasting too many chances. Mathis with a nice look a few seconds ago but put it right into the one defender, LA with a counter attack but the defense (barely) holds. RSL needs to put one of these away, even with Rimando in goal, it's not a positive to face the likes of Donovan and Beckham in PKs.

107th-Espi open in the box decides to pass not shoot. SHOOT THE DAMN BALL!

110th-RSL finally gets a call. Foul on Klein trying to win a header over Wingert in the RSL box.

120th-1 minute injury time...

120+1-Clint with a gorgeous ball to Andy wide open in front of goal, but his legs refuse to work and the chance goes begging. Andy collapses on the field in disgust, he's exhausted. And off to PKs we go!

End of play-RSL facing a backup keeper but LA has Donovan, Beckham, Klein, etc. Anyone's game, but you like our chances.

PKs-Beckham limping but totally sends Nick the wrong way. Goal.
Mathis nails it. 1-1.
Berhalter?! Inside side netting. Perfect shot. 2-1.
Findley up, big time pressure. Left upper 90. Gorgeous. 2-2.
Kirovski now. Rimando time? Yes, indeedy! 2-2.
Kyle right to Saunders. Craptastic. Still 2-2.
Landycakes, you know he'll score. OH MY GOD, LANDON OVER THE BAR! HOLY SHITBALLS! 2-2.
Grabbing-boys bottom corner. 3-2 RSL!
Magee HAS to score... And does... 3-3.
Andy Williams FTW. This will be super sweet if he wins it... Poor shot, weakly dribbled to Saunders. 3-3.
Klein scores. 4-3 LA.
Wingert our last chance... Passes into the back of the net. 4-4.
Edson Buddle, can Nick take him? Yes! 4-4.
Now Robbie Russell to win. Knock on wood! YES! RSL IS YOUR MLS CHAMPION!!!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Do You Believe In Miracles? YES! Pt. 2

OK, so maybe it's not a bunch of college kids defeating the Soviet wrecking crew in hockey, but it was still a HUGE win, especially for a team that has struggled so mightily on the road. I'm still giddy about the game so not much for commentary, but I do want to mention what a big difference it makes when the midfield shows up (compare this game to game 1 and you'll see what I mean). Anyway, on to the grades!

Player Grades:
Nick Rimando-7 Possibly could have had the 1st goal, although not totally his fault. Otherwise stellar.
Robbie Russell-3 Only real weak link on the night. Really bad, 2nd goal is on him.
Chris Wingert-6 OK game for Chris. Still not on 2008 season form, but not bad.
Nat Borchers-7 Steady game for Nat.
Jamison Olave-7 Was it a penalty or no? Wasn't given so he stays at 7.
Andy Williams-8 Was an absolute animal in the first half. Really nice to see Andy score to lock it up after the year he's had!
(Jean Alexandre 91+)- Not on the field long enough to get a rating
Kyle Beckerman-7 Solid most of the night and, most importantly, didn't get a 2nd yellow so he's available for the conf. final.
Javier Morales-8 Finally looked like '08 Javi.
(Clint Mathis 82)-6 Not much of a chance to do a lot as the Crew were in desperation mode when he came on.
Will Johnson-7 As always, extremely active.
Robbie Findley-7 Was a little worried the pressure would get to him on the PK but he calmly put it away.
Fabian Espindola-7 Earned the PK that put RSL on top for good.
(Yura Movsisyan 65)-6 Solid, but like Mathis, got caught up in the Crew's desperate attacks.

Coach grade (Kreis)-7 Not sure how much was him and how much was the team just doing it themselves, but the squad kept motivated after going down 2-0, which is a complete unknown for an RSL team on the road.
Ref grade (Toledo)-4 As usual, a terrible game for Toledo. Missed some big calls for the Crew and called way too many fouls on RSL that he didn't call the other way.

RSL Man of the Match-Andy Williams
What can I say? The guy looked like a world beater for much of this one. The goal was just icing on the cake.

Assclown of the Match-Frankie Hejduk
Normally I'm a Hejduk guy, but his incessant whining brings his AOTM, just beating out teammate Alejandro Moreno who put on the biggest show of flopping this side of Blanco.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Eastern Conference Final Here We Come!

YES!

3-2 RSL
4-2 on aggregate!

Holy crap!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

MLS Playoffs 2009: Game 1 vs. Columbus

First off, congrats to RSL for pulling off a near-miracle and making it to the playoffs. However, once you're there, can you do anything with it? The reds were out to do just that over the weekend.
It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, and with it being Halloween, there were plenty of costumes to gawk at. On a related topic, have you stopped at gawked at the total morons bemoaning the loss of freedom of religion to the left-wing gay conspiracy (led by President Obama, of course) just outside of the stadium? It is truly a testament to America's freedom of speech that such lunacy is allowed in public. But I digress. Back to the game. Realistically, RSL needed an effort much like the 4-1 shellacking they put on the Crew at the River earlier this season to give themselves the best chance to get to the Eastern Conference Final (note to MLS: fix the screwy playoff system. NOW!). Unfortunately, some extremely tenative and mediocre play through the midfield made this impossible, but after working out the jitters RSL was able to control the game for the most part. However, the mids weren't really able to work the balls up front in any sort of dangerous position for most of the game, limiting RSL's chances. And after Findley missed a shot into the side netting in the 83rd, I think most fans were thinking we were looking at a 0-0 tie on the day. And that's what made the goal in the 88th that much sweeter. Yura took a quick throw in from WillJ that broke him free from the defense and put a pin-point pass into the box that Robbie toed home for the game-winner. And the place went, for lack of a better term (cover your eyes, children) apeshit. It was a combo of being excited for the goal and just total relief that RSL had FINALLY broken the ice. So although it's not the multi-goal lead that I (and I'm sure RSL themselves) would have liked, it's at least a lead. Well done RSL, and good luck in Ohio. Bring home the Cup boys!

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-7 Not a lot to do
Chris Wingert-7 Steady
Nat Borchers-7 Solid as always in the back
Jamison Olave-7 Kept his head straight and had a nice game
Tony Beltran-7 Very active, looked good
(Robbie Russell 79)-6 Not a lot of time to put his mark on the match
Andy Williams-5 Like the rest of the midfield, too may turnovers
Kyle Beckerman-5 Meh
Javier Morales-3 Just awful. Passed consistently to CLB, no defense, no hustle.
(Clint Mathis 75)-6 Nothing special but anything was better than Javi Saturday
Will Johnson-6 Probably the best in midfield on a bad day for MFs
Robbie Findley-6 Scored a goal but was a bit rough most of the night
Fabian Espindola-5 Never really read any of Robbie's runs right
(Yura Movsisyan 65)-9 I'm a Yura-hater for the most part, but he was spectacular and RSL was a different team with him on the field Saturday.

Coach grade (Kreis)-8 Usually his subs are inexplicable to me, but these were good (recognizing that Javi was killing us was a good move) and his team pressed to get a W.
Ref grade (Geiger)-5 Inconsistent on calls as per usual in MLS.

RSL Man of the Match-Yura Movsisyan
Left Rio Tinto with a great performance that hopefully will get RSL one step closer to MLS Cup 09.

Assclown of the Match-Frankie Hejduk
Went in 2-footed on an RSL man (can't remember which off the top of my head) that I have often seen a red given for. Wasn't even given a card, so you'd think he'd be happy right? Oh no, he bitched for 10 minutes. Assclown.

Quote of the Day-"The Italian pedophile" in reference to Columbus's Gino Padula, who does, in fact, look like an Italian pedophile. Good job guys standing behind me in section 1!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

29 Down, 1 To Go

Blah. Another poor road performance and RSL is now more likely to miss the playoffs than make them. Again. In a league that still has more teams qualify for the playoffs than miss them, if RSL again crashes and burns again this season it'll be 1 for 5 on making the playoffs. Let that sink in: in a system that makes it harder to miss the playoffs than make them, RSL can only get there 20% of the time. There is something VERY wrong with that. But I digress. Hopefully, with a little luck and a lovely hometown thrashing of the Crapids, RSL can sneak into the playoffs on the final day once again. It'll be cold and dark, yes, but I encourage EVERYONE to head out to the game. If you need a little more incentive (which, really? You can't get up for the RMC finale?), 101.9 The End is doing a $10 ticket promotion on their web site (details here), and they are decent seats. So come on out and help RSL pull out their 24.9% chance of making the playoffs (according to the awesome Sports Club Stats)! Go RSL!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

2009 Game 24: RSL vs. Wizards: The Wiz Whizz On Their Chances

Wow. Been a long time since an update, I apologize. Work has been crazy lately, but hopefully life is getting back to normal. First, a quick shoutout to Clint Mathis for being overwhelmingly voted the Royal Review Readers' Player of the 1st Half of the Season. Well done! Anyway, I'm keeping this one short, both to ease my way back in and because I doubt anyone will even see this after such a long break! Here's the grades from RSL's gritty road win (with only 10 men for a majority of the match) over a KC squad that not only squandered numerous chances in front of goal, but also possibly its chances for a playoff berth.

Player grades:
Chris Seitz-9 Showed why he's been so highly regarded. Would've taken a world class strike to beat him.
Chris Wingert-8 Very solid, especially in the second half.
Nat Borchers-8 Along with the rest of the defense, came alive in the 2nd.
Jamison Olave-8 Nearly a 9, he was a beast all night.
Robbie Russell-8 Solid defensively and got an assist.
Kyle Beckerman-6 Decent but not spectacular.
Andy Williams-7 Nice assist, really came alive after it.
(Jean Alexandre 46)-6 A couple big tackles, not at all out of place.
Ned Grabavoy-4 Red card was harsh, but he got it and did nothing before it.
Raphael Cox-5 One too many turnovers, but I like his game and if he figures out how to play under control, look out!
(Fabian Espindola 72)-7 Nice energy off the bench and a huge save late.
Pablo Campos-7 Inconsistent, but put away his best chance and that's what you ask for.
(Robbie Findley 56)-6 Not great offensively but contributed well to the team defensive strategy.
Clint Mathis-7 Nice game for Cleetus.

Coach grade (Kreis)-9 Yes, RSL got a lot of help from some atrocious KC finishing, but his adjustments at half and the subs all seemed to work and RSL earned a very unlikely road win.

Ref grade (Geiger)-4 Harsh red card combined with amazingly inconsistent calls earns him a low grade.

RSL MAN OF THE MATCH - Chris Seitz
Earned his first shutout (and I do mean earned) by combining with the defense to hold the Wiz (That's funny! Read it again and you'll get it).

Douchebag of the Day - Davy Arnaud
A bit too whiny for my taste. Shut your pie hole and play some ball!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

VOTE!!!

Everyone please vote in my new poll (on the right, in the sidebar) for your player of the 1st half of the 2009 season. I have my own ideas, but I'm curious who everyone out in RSL-land thinks has been the cream of the crop so far this year. Results will be posted once the poll closes. Thanks again for coming by and thanks for voting!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Yura's Staying

Just got a note on facebook from RSL saying that Garth announced today that Yura is staying for the remainder of the season. My reaction is: Why? He obviously doesn't want to be here (see some of his quotes about the move from recent articles) and RSL/MLS now lose him after the season for nothing. If Randers offered a ham sandwich to let him go early the RSL FO should've jumped on it. Always get something (cash) instead of nothing (no cash), especially in a down economy. Blah (although, did I really expect anything less?).

Sunday, June 28, 2009

2009 Game 15: Toronto FC vs. RSL: Where has this team been?

I finally got out to my first game this season (with a little help from KALL's $7 ticket promotion), but I couldn't have picked a better one to go to. RSL put together one of its more complete games of the year in taking apart a Toronto team that came in on short rest.

RSL controlled the flow of this game, for the most part, and after going up 2-0, kept Toronto from ever really looking dangerous. Yura put together one of his best outings of the year and we had a nice cameo by Ian Joy late. Overall, some solid play by the home squad, and a good, and necessary, win.

First half grade: A-
A good first half but not spectacular. The second half saw a few players step it up (most notably Ned Grabavoy) and really lead RSL to the finish. Two goals, but the defense was not perfect and Toronto had a few chances.
Second half grade: A
Nicely done by RSL in the second, scoring the final goal, but more importantly, shutting down the Toronto attack completely.
Game grade: A
A good, solid win at home. Hopefully RSL can build on this without getting the big heads that killed the team after the 6-0 thrashing of the NERds.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-7 Didn't have a lot to do, but made the saves when necessary.
Chris Wingert-6 Also didn't have a lot to do, but the attacks never seemed to come from his side.
Nat Borchers-6 Passing was iffy at times, but got the job done.
Robbie Russell-7 Nice job filling in for Olave.
Tony Beltran-6 Poor first half, but redeemed himself with a solid 2nd.
(Ian Joy 83)-6 Nice to see Ian back on the field.
Kyle Beckerman-6 Almost a 5, scored a goal, but missed 2 or 3 absolute sitters.
(Tino Nunez 91+)-NA Didn't have enough time for a true rating.
Ned Grabavoy-7 Bad first half, but astounding in the 2nd. Nice assist on the 3rd score.
Javier Morales-6 OK game, nothing too great.
(Andy Williams 75)-6 Nice to see Andy getting some run.
Clint Mathis-7 Hard to argue a goal and an assist.
Yura Movsisyan-7 Nice, composed finish on the goal (for once). Very active, but had a bad case of ballhogacitis.
Fabian Espindola-4 The only weak link on the night. Just awful. Absolutely no effort and zero movement off the ball. Probably could have had 2 goals if he'd followed up on some plays.

Coach grade (Kreis)-7 I'd have started Andy over Ned, but Ned proved me wrong on that one in the 2nd. A 3-0 win is hard to criticize, but I'm still shocked Espi got a full 90 with that sort of (non-)effort.
Ref grade (Jurisevic)-5 The usual inconsistent MLS ref effort.

RSL Man of the Match: Yura Movsisyan
Yes, he made some mistakes, but got himself into good spaces and looked good on the goal.

Douchebag of the Day: Amado Guevara
After his teammate delivered a late, crushing tackle and picked up an obvious yellow, what does Guevara do? Complain for about 5 minutes. Seriously, it was one of the easiest yellow calls you'll ever see and Guevara whined like someone had punched his mother. Grow up, dude.

And now, some low-quality pictures from last night's game courtesy of my crappy camera phone:
Setting up the formation on a goal kick.



For those who haven't yet seen it, the unfortunate aftermath of the Supporter's end stage debacle



And now, a series I like to call, simply, "Sunset Over Rio Tinto"



Mathis sends in a cross as the sun sets





And then, the sunset truly hits...





Saturday, June 27, 2009

Toronto vs. Real Salt Lake GAMEDAY

Trying to get my sidebars somewhat up to date and I thought, "What the hell? Let's throw a prediction or two out there." So here goes:

Tonight:
Those dirty, dirty Canucks (ha ha, sorry I have a Canadian friend and it has become habit) 1 - Real Salt Lake 2
Salt Lake at home against a jet-lagged, 2nd game in 3 days Toronto team at altitude? I like our chances.

Tomorrow:
Brazil 2 - USA 1
As much as I want the US to win (and there certainly is a chance they could pull it off), I don't see it happening. Especially with Bradley out with one of the worst (if not THE worst) straight reds I've ever seen. Plus, although related, judging by the calls from rest of the tournament, I doubt the US will get through the match with 11.

Discuss.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

AGAIN

So we've been having computer issues at the ol' homestead once again, meaning I am way WAY behind on everything Review related. I'm going to try and get the site back up to date as soon as possible, but we're a ways out I think. In the meantime, here's my player grades from the latest last minute RSL meltdown...

RSL vs. Houston Grades:
Nick Rimando-8 Saved a (questionable) PK, played well.
Tony Beltran-4 Attacks constantly came from his side, gave way too much space for the tying cross
Nat Borchers-6 Played well until falling asleep on the goal
Jamison Olave-3 Horrific. Played the lazy, careless game he can be known for, then gets tossed for dissent. Well done.
Chris Wingert-6 Meh.
Kyle Beckerman-5 Also asleep at the wheel on the goal.
Will Johnson-6 Active, but not especially useful
Javier Morales-6 Too much time diving, but ok otherwise
Clint Mathis-6 OK but needs to do more
(Tino Nunez 76)-6 Not really given a chance, came in with RSL a man down
Yura Movsisyan-5 Nice on the assist but otherwise useless. Needs to learn to win something in the air (and put a shot on frame and....)
(Ned Grabavoy 82)-6 Not a lot of time to do much.
Fabian Espindola-6 Solid goal, some good effort at times, but needs to impose himself on the game more.
(Robbie Russell 63)-6 Decent in trying to hold off the Houston onslaught.

Coach grade (Kreis)-6 New formation seems to suit team, needs to get Olave a crowbar to help him remove his head from his ass.
Ref grade (Maruffo)-3 Another MLS game that devolved into UFC-lite. Cards were also a bit one-sided and the PK call was a bit weak for my tastes. Plus, a 2 minute water break in the middle of the game? Really?

RSL Man of the Match: Nick Rimando
Singlehandedly kept his team in the game. Earned RSL 1 point as opposed to 0.

Douchebag of the Day: Jamison Olave
You should never, ever, EVER be dumb enough to pick up two straight cards for dissent like that. Dude, take a xanax and back away...

Sunday, May 31, 2009

2009 Game 11: RSL vs. San Jose: Officially the worst team in the league?

Well, are we? It sure looks that way after RSL was thoroughly dismantled by a previously 1-7-2 Quakes team. Yes, that's one win. And if not for some heroics by Big Nick Rimando (with a little help from Bulldozer Olave), this game could have ended up just the opposite of the 6-0 shellacking that "Twilight Zone-RSL" put on the NERds. Since I don't even want to think about this one anymore, here's the grades:

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-8 Played big despite the d letting him down over and again
Chris Wingert-6 Decent game, not great
Nat Borchers-4 Probably Nat's worst overall game for RSL
Jamison Olave-7 Kept RSL in this as much as he could
Robbie Russell-3 Beaten over and over and over and over again
Will Johnson-5 Very up and down
Kyle Beckerman-4 Every pass went to no one
Javier Morales-4 RSL needs a LOT more out of their playmaker
Ned Grabavoy-4 Did nothing, then team improved instantly when he went off
(Clint Mathis 64)-6 Solid effort
Luis Miguel Escalada-4 Was he in the game?
(Robbie Findley 55)-8 Big goal; one of the few to give a real effort
Fabian Espindola-5 Try being ONside once in a while Espi!
(Yura Movsisyan 56)-5 Useless as usual

Coach grade (Kreis): 3
Lineup was terrible (seriously, why does Findley keep starting on the bench? He's one of the league's leading scorers!) and subs were too late and a bit over-reactionary. Plus, never seemed to do anything to react to the pressure his team was under. Poor job.

Ref grade (Stott): 2
Quite possibly the worst reffed soccer game I've ever seen. One sided to an obvious degree for the home team, but that wasn't the worst part, as bad calls (and no-calls) flew both ways. Let the game turn into a low-rent UFC match and didn't seem to care. Threw yellows for one thing and then let the same thing go minutes later. Just painful to watch. If I wasn't trying to get away from awarding DotD to refs, he would've won it by himself in a landslide (however, that doesn't mean he gets off scott free).

RSL Man of the Match-Nick Rimando
Yes, he let in two, but with the defense playing like it did, that is basically a shutout.

Douchebag of the Day-The SJ broadcast commentators and the officiating crew
Both guys were complete homers, which is ok to a point, but these guys went into the realm of idiocy. SJ could do no wrong in any situation, while RSL was just there to mug the poor Quakes. The play-by-play guy's complete inaccuracy in his retelling of the DCU game was an interesting twist. The mention of Cannon working hard to preserve his shutout, after letting in a goal minutes earlier, was even better. And the mangling of Movsisyan into something approximating Mowsivian? Just icing on the cake. I pity you, San Jose fans, if this is the best they can do for you. As for the refs, well, see above...

In other words, blah.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Uh Oh Spaghetti-O's

Crap. Missed all the fanfare around the Ben Cup second leg as my computer has been out with...a computer version of swine flu? I'm not feeling too creative at the moment, can you tell? Anyway, congrats to RSL on a big (and surprising, given recent form) road tie that keeps the cup in Utah for another year. So craziness at home and at work here lately, but I hope to have the site back up to date and fully going again in the next couple weeks (that's not to say I won't possibly get some occasional posts in between now and then). As always, thanks for coming by!

And in honor of the win, here is the beloved cup itself:

Peaceness, kids.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Updates coming soon

So I have grades ready for the Colorado game, but haven't yet watched the LA game. The plan is to watch it and the KC game this weekend and then get all caught up hopefully by Monday. Famous last words, I know, but the Review will keep plugging away and, as always, thanks for coming by!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

How's that workin out for ya?

Well, that Kyle Davies-for-basically-nothing trade is really paying off. Now Nat is hurt, Worst is hurt, Olave has no knee cartilage, and our other backups (Russell, Wingert) are really outside backs (and their backups are 1st and 2nd year guys). Good move guys, really well done.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

2009 Game 6: RSL vs. Crapids: Rocky Mountain Cry

Wow. What a turd. Will RSL ever win a road game? 8-ball says: Signs point to no. Since we are already to the midweek game, no use for a full review. Here's the grades from the game:

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-6 Decent until the injury
(Kyle Reynish 35)-6 Left out to dry on the goal, solid debut
Robbie Russell-4 An abomination of a 1st half, only slightly better in the 2nd
Nat Borchers-6 Stopped most attacks going his way
Jamison Olave-5 Bad call or no, got to be more careful than he was on the red card
Chris Wingert-5 Very up and down
Clint Mathis-6 Still played decent even completely out of position
(Tony Beltran 74)-6 Quiet in garbage time
Kyle Beckerman-6 Very bad at times, good at others, however, the only RSL player with enough passion on the night
Javier Morales-4 Terrible. Turnovers galore, poor free kicks, and a 1 game suspension (although I am tempted to give an extra point for elbowing Mastro, who generally deserves it)
Will Johnson-5 Just a thought, but I'd be curious what would happen with Will as a 2nd striker and a burner like Findley up top. I think that would make a good combo
Robbie Findley-6 Needs to be more aggressive shooting the ball, but ok
Yura Movsisyan-5 Still couldn't hit the broad side of a barn from 6 inches
(Ned Grabavoy 66)-5 Mostly useless.

Coach grade (Kreis)-6 After going a man down, there wasn't a lot he could do
Ref grade (Jurisevic)-3 Most ordinary calls were ok, but the big calls were all missed. The straight red on Olave? Terrible. Morales's elbow on Mastro? Missed it. The obvious pick-up of a pass back by Pickens in the 3rd minute? The one that would have changed the whole complexion of the game for RSL? The easiest call he'd have all year? Didn't make it. Shockingly bad.

RSL Man of the Match-Kyle Beckerman
Did Kyle play the prettiest game for RSL? Did he play the most technical game? Was he even the best player on the field for RSL for much of the game? No, no, and no. But Kyle did something that few of his teammates wanted to do: hustle. He wanted that game. He wanted the RMC. And yes, he tried a bit too hard to make something happen at times, but at least he tried. If, say, Javi had put in that kind of effort maybe the scoreline would have been different. On a related note, Javier Morales gets an honorable mention for MOTM, not for his play, but for decking Pablo Mastroeni. Well done!

Douchebag of the Day-Pablo Mastroeni
Was his normal whiny, crying, dirty-playing, douchy self. Honestly, perhaps we could just change this to the 'Pablo M. Award'

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Le Sigh...

Everytime I start thinking that JnG get it, they pull another "WTF Moment". Here's the latest. I find it hard to believe that the U-20 captain (and a player capable of multiple positions in the back) is a) not better than David Horst, b) not worth more than a 2nd round pick, and c) not worth keeping for depth purposes. Not to mention the fact that there are plenty of candidates on the roster that I would imagine could be loaned out to free up roster space (Alexandre, Nunez, and W(H)orst come to mind immediately). Le sigh...

Monday, April 27, 2009

2009 Game 5: NERds vs. RSL: El Beatdown Grande

I'm hoping to do an actual review but right now I'm too tired and out of it to do a full one now. Here's the grades from the big 6-0 shellacking:

First half grade: B+
RSL in control most of the half, but couldn't hit the back of the net.
Second half grade: A+
All that needs to be said: SIX goals in 36 minutes.
Game grade: A+
Once again, and even though it was against a New England B (or possibly C) team, it was 6 to 0. Period.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-6 First shutout and didn't have to do much for it
Robbie Russell-7 Got forward well
Nat Borchers-7 As always, a steady force in the back
Jamison Olave-8 Showed again why he is the starter and not W(H)orst. Got a goal to boot
Chris Wingert-6 Meh for Chris
Will Johnson-6 Very up and down, got it together in the 2nd half
Clint Mathis-8 Huge game for Clint and a possible Goal of the Year candidate
(Andy Williams 74)-7 Nice free kick goal for Andy. I'd like to see more of him, but who do you take out for him?
Kyle Beckerman-8 Played really well, controlled the midfield. Defending was brilliant
Javier Morales-7 Weak game until he started getting the corners locked in
(Ned Grabavoy 68)-7 Seems to always give some spark off the bench
Robbie Findley-7 Solid game for Robbie
Yura Movsisyan-6 FINALLY got a goal, but again missed easy ones including a 1v1 that a corpse could have scored on that he put right to the keeper
(Luis Miguel Escalada 72)-7 Showed a little of why J&G decided to keep him

Coaching grade (Kreis)-9 First half was meh, but whatever he did at halftime helped! Plus, all the subs contributed.
Ref grade (Toledo?)-6 I still think Findley should've gotten a PK late in the 1st half, but other than that, nothing was too egregious.

RSL Man of the Match: Clint Mathis
Brilliant game. Even without the goal and assist, he had a very nice game. Add those in and it's an easy call.

Douchebag of the Day is taking a week off out of respect for the NERds. They just got beat 6-0, no reason to add insult to injury.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Mr. Nimo Goes To Portland

Just found this article (Courtesy of the always great RSLFM.com) about the 2009 Portland Timbers. Apparently, RSL's Alex Nimo has been loaned out to them and is already listed on the roster. I love this move, it gets a promising young player a better chance to see the field. And let's be honest, RSL does not have the best track record in developing young talent (Nik Besagno anyone? Jamie Watson? David Horst? (haha) Possibly Chris Seitz?). Let's hope Nimo can hit the USL and shine and give us another quality option in the future.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

2009 Game 4: RSL @ Energy Bovines: Total collapse

Wow. What a turd RSL laid out all over Giants Stadium last night. They were beaten in every facet of the game by a New York team that had not scored a goal of their own volition all season (their one score coming off an own goal). Apparently all that improvement we keep hearing about hasn't hit yet. The strikers couldn't finish, the midfield couldn't pass, the defense couldn't, well, much of anything. Poor all around. Basically, vintage RSL, and if you've been a fan for any length of time, you know how bad that is.

First half grade: F

From the whistle, NY took control, when David Worst (no, not a typo), in for Olave (for reasons I don't totally get) was outmuscled by Dane Richards who put the ball into the box. Rimando got a finger to it, but it defelcted straight to Kandji who pasted it into the open net. 1-0, 1:30 in. Yes, you read that right, Worst, at 6-4 and 210, was pushed around by the 5-7 and 153 lb. Richards. Yes, he sucks. The bovines kept control for most of the half as RSL feebly sent long ball after long ball skipping across the artificial turf and out of bounds. Blah. 1-0 Energy Bovines.

Second half grade: F
Basically see the first half with the following changes: 1) Worst was now beaten by Angel rather than Richards and 2) Jeremy Hall receives a straight red in the 66th, giving RSL the man advantage. But judging by RSL's play, you wouldn;t have noticed the difference if you hadn't been told.

Game grade: F
Once again, RSL loses 2-0 to a team that had not scored all season (4 games). They look horrible while doing so.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-5 Made some great stops, but probably could have done better on the goals.
Chris Wingert-5 Not Chris's best.
Nat Borchers-7 Got beat a little on the second goal, but otherwise was tremendous.
Robbie Russell-5 Too quiet.
David (W)Horst-3 Just awful. We are screwed if this is our "depth". Perhaps he'd be better suited for Ogden?
(Luis Miguel Escalada 65)-5 Bad. Did nothing in 25 min.
Clint Mathis-6 Did a lot of running, Not a ton else.
(Ned Grabavoy 82)-6 Made a nice penetrating run, but didn't have time for much else.
Kyle Beckerman-7 All over the midfield. Another nice game for Kyle.
Javier Morales-5 Not one good free kick all night, too much diving.
Will Johnson-6 Up and down, evens to about average.
Robbie Findley-5 First touch was bad.
(Andy Williams 78)-5 WAY too many turnovers for 12 minutes.
Yura Movsisyan-5 I'm sorry, I don't get the Yura love. HE CAN'T FINISH. Another bad game.

Coaching grade (Kreis)-3 Late scratch of Olave was baffling. Did nothing to fire up or organize the team.
Ref grade (R. Salazar)-3 Allowed way too much pushing off (see the first NY goal), cards were all soft. Just awful all around.

RSL Man of the Match: Nat Borchers
Perhaps slightly at fault on the Angel goal, but was basically defending for 4 as he got no help. The only defender, and only player outside of Beckerman and maybe Grabavoy, that looked sure of himself or composed. Without his play, RSL loses 6-0.

Douchebag of the Day (aka Assclown of the Match, I like the alliteration DotD provides): Dane Richards
Did it all. From pushing off defenders all over the field (and getting away with it with help from the awful Ricardo Salazar) to flopping at the slightest touch, Dane was King Douche all night long.

Pros:
+No one got hurt.

Cons:
-David Horst didn't get hurt (JOKING! I don't wish injury on anyone, regardless of how bad they suck).
-David Horst proved once again that he is terrible.
-Thoroughly outplayed by a bad NY team, now without RSL killer Van Den Bergh.
-Is Olave hurt?
-Yura still can't finish. We need a real striker.
-Escalada was also terrible, giving us 3 poor forwards.
-The fact that RSL really couldn't even mount a serious challenge with a man advantage.
-The lack of fire from RSL for much of the game.
-The entire game.

What we learned:
1) RSL still can't play on the road (2 games, 2 shutout losses).
2) The Energy Bovines will still be RSL kryptonite, even without DVB.
3) Once Espi gets to town, Yura should find a nice comfy spot on the bench (won't happen, but should).

Thursday, April 16, 2009

2009 Game 3: DCU vs. RSL: Ben Cup: Round 1, FIGHT!

(Sorry for the Street Fighter reference in the title, couldn't help myself.)
Anyway, I had planned a big review of the big Ben Cup match but a busy (and strange) week kinda pushed all that to the side. In its stead, a mini-review, starting with some sweet, sweet player grades:

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-6 Not a lot to do, left out to dry a bit on the goal.
Tony Beltran-6 Not spectacular by any means, but serviceable.
(Raphael Cox 59)-6 Too many turnovers, but I LOVE this guy's hustle. Getting on my favorites list very quickly.
Nat Borchers-7 Pretty solid in the back, stymied most DCU attacks that came his way.
Jamison Olave-7 Caught defending no one on the goal, but scored one of his own to atone.
Chris Wingert-6 An average Chris Wingert day.
Clint Mathis-6 Didn't get involved as much as he had in the previous 2.
(Ned Grabavoy 74)-6 Providing some nice depth in midfield.
Kyle Beckerman-7 Best game of 2009 so far, got involved and nearly scored.
Javier Morales-7 Quiet, but came up with a HUGE goal out of nowhere for the win.
Will Johnson-6 Similar to Wingert and Beltran, not great by any means, but solid.
Robbie Findley-5 2 of the quietest assists you'll see. Got beat a few times by Jakovic.
(Andy Williams 89)-6 Very little time, hard to grade, but gets an average 6 for not doing anything wrong.
Yura Movsisyan-5 WAY too selfish; decision making is not there.

Coach grade (Kreis)-6 There were some minor adjustments I'd liked to have seen, but overall, ok.
Ref grade (Stott)-4 Not for any egregiously unfair calls, but for his seeming confusion on whether he was reffing for MLS or WWE. A little too physical for a soccer match.

RSL Man of the Match: Kyle Beckerman
Tough one to call as no one stood out. Olave blew it with poor defense on the DC goal. Javi was close but only seemed to play about 25 out of the 90 minutes. Becks wins it with a solid, full-90 effort.

Assclown of the Match: Mother Nature
Another cold, rainy, miserable day for an RSL match? Why of course! And this week, with RSL on the road? Mid-60s and sunny in Sandy, what else?

Pros:
+RSL is on the verge on winning the Ben Cup yet again.
+Late game winning goal for Javi was a beauty and may provide him with a spark.
+Kyle returned to his proper form.
+RSL was able to answer back quickly after an opponent's goal.
+Did I mention that RSL now has the upper hand in the Ben Cup?

Cons:
-The strikers again looked fairly lost for much of the game (like in Seattle).
-Yura's decision making never seems to improve.
-Until the goal, Javi seemed absent for much of the match.
-DCU always seems to kill us at RFK. Can RSL buck the trend to keep the Cup?
-The weather again messes with a home game. C'mon, it's supposed to be spring dammit!

What we learned:
1) RSL can beat DCU, even when they play their first-string keeper.
2) Will Johnson continues to look good on set pieces, giving the reds another option besides just Javi.
3) RSL may finally have the resiliency needed to carry on after getting behind, rather than throwing in the towel.

Game grade: B
It wasn't pretty, and it certainly wasn't RSL's best effort. But the team recovered from being outplayed at home for much of the first half to deliver a nice come from behind win. Let's make it 3 in a row this week boys!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Traditional Pre-Ben Cup Interview

As has become tradition, here is the pre-game interview with the losing half of the Ben Cup, DCU Ben:

1) Well, here we are yet again with the Ben Cup upon us, and DCU is now 0-3. Is this the year that finally changes?

Yes this is the year that DC United finally claims what is rightfully theirs. The Ben Cup yearns to reside in the greater DC metropolitan area.

2) Do you think United has FINALLY learned from past mistakes and will start their first-string keeper in Utah for once?

They have not learned anything. However, by pure lucky happenstance, the backup keeper appears to be injured. The only problem is that the starter is Louis "I think I have the moves of the young Maradona before cocaine" Crayton, and he will try to dazzle you with his footwork... and he will get burned by Robbie Findley who is not kind to keepers of fancy feet.

3) Do you see Rio Tinto playing a factor in this game? This will be DC's first trip there? May it even help DCU by getting them off the artifical turf at Rice-Eccles?

Rio Tinto and real grass will slow down the game which will benefit the aged United attack with their preference to control the pace of the game.


4) I hear that you are not getting local TV coverage of this one. Is that true? And if so, what the hell? When did DCU start getting RSL-style media coverage?

Local TV has boycotted the United coverage for the first part of the season specifically to spite me because I have Verizon Fios and cannot purchase Direct Kick. I can think of two specific events that ushered in the era of DCU getting RSL-style media coverage, (1) DCU started playing like RSL and (2) when PG County denied the stadium building. Local TV is ahead of the curve on this and can see that this franchise has no marketable future in DC. Is a hint of bitterness coming across? Just checking.


5) Which RSL player are you most concerned about as a DCU fan? And conversely, which probable starter (RSL has used the same lineup in both games so far) concerns you least? Do you think DC will be able to exploit this player?

I think we have to be most concerned about RSL's speed in the attack, which means Findley. It's hard to tell after two games which player does not concern me or if we could exploit that particular player, but I'll go with Olave. I think he has a short fuse and we have some guys that like to get under the skin. I'm hoping for an early straight red.

6) On a scale of 1-10, how pumped are you for some sweet sweet Ben Cup action?

Let's put it this way, I love the Ben Cup so much I wanna take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant. (ed. note-quite possibly the best and most appropriate response ever)

7) Finally, I'd like to say that I think fans all over MLS wish you guys the best in getting a stadium. Now that it appears the PG Co. plan has fallen through, where else do you think DCU could settle? Are you concerned they may move the team?

I'm going to go with the esteemed Mr. Soccer Insider and say, Vamos St. Louis United! They can only keep the team in RFK and losing money for so long before wiser business minds prevail and send them somewhere else. I'm still holding out for a Northern Virginia stadium but if I were to put money on it, I'd put money on St. Louis.

In closing, I would just like to say that between insane work hours, technical difficulties with MLSLive.tv, and no local coverage I have yet to watch an entire match this season. I am hoping that changes this weekend as DC takes a big step towards bringing the Ben Cup to its rightful home. Vamos United!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

BEN CUP IS HERE!

Man, I can't believe that only 3 games into the season, we already have the Ben Cup upon us. And, of course, this is a terrible week for it with my schedule, but I will try to have some fuller coverage up in the next couple of days. But as a quick recap, let's take a quick look back to last year:

Leg 1, April 12th, Salt Lake City, UT: DCU 0 - RSL 4
-2 goals for Kyle Beckerman, 1 each for Espi and Robbie Findley
-RR MOTM: Dema Kovalenko; 2 assists and seemingly involved in every positive RSL play.

Leg 2, April 26th, Washington, DC: RSL 1 - DCU 4
-2 (PK) goals for Moreno, 1 each for Gallardo and Quaranta
-Carey Talley salvages the Ben Cup with a late goal off a Tony Beltran assist
-RR MOTM: Chris Wingert; only RSL player with an above average grade on the night.

RSL and DCU tie on record (1-1-0), but RSL wins on aggregate goals: 5-4.

Let's hope RSL doesn't need to take this year's Cup to tiebreakers. Come on ya Reds! Go RSL!

Friday, April 3, 2009

2009 Game 2: Crew vs. RSL: Beatdown Supreme

Hmmm... So was game 1 just an "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" situation or something? Because this looked like a completely different team out there this week. RSL looked energetic, they pushed the action, and, most importantly, finished some chances. Hopefully RSL can build on this one and go on a *gasp* early season winning streak!

First half grade: B+
RSL certainly started off with a bang, when about 1:30 in, Will Johnson hit a blistering free kick from about 30 yards that Will Hesmer just parried away. The ball dropped right to Robbie Findley who put it away for an early 1-0 lead. I like the move of letting someone other than Javi take a kick every now and then, and it certainly showed it can pay dividends here. Columbus seemed to take control soon after, culminating in a Jason Garey goal in the 22nd on a classic RSL scrambling-nonsense defensive play. Momentum swung back to RSL 7 minutes later when Columbus keeper Hesmer inexplicably kicked a clearance directly into Robbie Findley at the top of the box. Findley collected the ball, calmly ran around Hesmer, and neatly tucked the ball away. 2-1 RSL. RSL played fairly strongly the rest of the half and took that lead into halftime.

Second half grade: A+
Wow. RSL basically laid 45 minutes of complete domination down on Columbus this half, and it showed with RSL scoring 2 more (and if Yura could finish, it would have been about 4 more). In the 62nd, Yura and Robbie proved that they CAN work as a unit with Yura taking a ball out wide left of the box and playing a gorgeous cross in to Robbie in the box. Findley then hit an equally gorgeous header into the bottom left corner of the goal. 3-1. Just five minutes later, Kyle Beckerman opened his scoring account for the season, rifling a header (off a Mathis corner) past Hesmer and into the net for a 4-1 lead. Findley was then pulled soon after, to a standing ovation from the home fans, or else I'm convinced he would have gotten a 4th. RSL nearly struck again a few times, but the Columbus D held for the last 20 minutes and RSL won going away, 4-1.

Full game grade: A
A very VERY solid home opener for the reds, which hopefully portends good things to come. Even with Columbus missing Hejduk, they still are a good team, last year's champions, and RSL took it to them. Well done.

Positional Grades:
Defense: B-
Midfield: A
Forwards: A-

Player Grades:
Nick Rimando-6 Caught a bit out of position on the goal, but otherwise made good decisions.
Tony Beltran-6 MUCH improved over last week's disaster.
Nat Borchers-7 Solid in the back.
Jamison Olave-6 Made some big plays, but showed his careless/lazy side quite a bit in that first half.
Chris Wingert-6 Struggled at times, but overall ok.
Clint Mathis-8 Another stellar game from Clint. Where was this last year (and in 05)?
(Ned Grabavoy 75)-6 Did well in limited time, should have an assist, but Yura was busy at Grand Suck-tral Station.
Kyle Beckerman-7 One of KB's better games in a while. Maybe he should go on ESPN.com more often?
Javier Morales-6 Quiet game but made the plays when needed.
(Jean Alexandre 85)-6 Didn't have a lot of time, but looked energetic.
Will Johnson-7 The early free kick (that led to the RF goal) was a doozy.
Robbie Findley-9 Made the most of his chances and was rewarded with RSL's first hat trick! Awesome!
(Andy Williams 70)-6 Decent in a brief stint.
Yura Movsisyan-5 Bonus point for the assist, but he has got to work on his finishing. He missed another 2 or 3 this game that a drunk monkey would've scored on.

Coach grade (Kreis)-7 Kept his team on the attack and with the right mentality. Nice to see RSL not let up, even with a 3 goal lead.
Ref grade (Prus)-7 RR whipping boy Alex Prus apparently got some contacts or something. Certainly wasn't perfect (although for him it may have been), but a decent job all around.

RSL Man of the Match-Robbie Findley
Gee...that was a tough decision...

Assclown of the Match-Alex Prus
For making me eat my words (see the Ref grade section). The bastard.

Pros:
+Robbie Findley comes alive.
+Is Clint for real? Finally?
+RSL gets a nice win over a solid team.

Cons:
-Weather, increased ticket prices, poor marketing, a Thursday game, and some community apathy lead to a horribly small crowd.
-Yura still can't finish, even the easy ones.

What we learned:
1) RSL may just be a team to be reckoned with after all.
2) Columbus needs Hejduk to have a chance.
3) Luis Miguel Escalada may not be with the team much longer. I know he is coming off and injury and was listed as questionable, but it's a bit surprising Jason didn't give him even 5 or 10 minutes of garbage time late.

And now, up next for RSL: The beauty, the pageantry, the wonder...The Ben Cup 2009. Kicking off April 11th in Sandy, UT! YES!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April 1st, 2009

Wow. Just wow. In a stunning turn of events, rumors are swirling of an RSL signing of Milan/Chelsea star Andriy Shevchenko to a 2 year DP contract with a player option for a third. The contract will begin this summer once Milan's season is over. Details of the transfer from Chelsea (who held his rights) were not given, so we don't know what (or if) a transfer fee was paid. Sheva apparently is thrilled to be coming to the US, both to finally get some solid playing time, but also to allow his American wife to come back home.

So wow... I guess RSL's needs at striker are suddenly a little less. HUGE news. Go RSL!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Royal Rankings #1

Frequent readers of the review know I like to put together a "power ranking" every now and then (I try to do every week, but it doesn't always happen. Now that every team has gotten started, here is the first Royal Ranking for the MLS season:

15-Dallas (0-2-0) - Handily beaten in both their games. Could be a long season.
14-Kansas City (0-2-0) - Everyone's favorite soccer-playing-minor-league-baseball team with a rough start.
13-Los Angeles (0-0-1) - Scored a controversial tie in week 1 against DC.
12-New York (0-1-1) - Got a home tie against the injury ravaged Revs after getting dismantled by Seattle.
11-REAL SALT LAKE (0-1-0) - Extremely poor all around against the expansion Sounders.
10-Houston (0-1-1) - Falls in a shootout at San Jose.
09-San Jose (1-0-1) - Get the win against a middling Dynamo squad.
08-Colorado (1-0-1) - Protected the home turf against KC.
07-DC United (0-0-2) - Probably should've beaten LA, get the draw against the solid Fire.
06-Toronto (1-0-1) - 1500 fans head to Columbus to prove they are the classiest in MLS.
05-Chivas TST (2-0-0) - 2 wins, but against poor opponents.
04-Columbus (0-0-2) - 2 ties in games they probably should have won for the reigning champs.
03-Chicago (1-0-1) - Eke out a road tie at DC after an easy win at Dallass.
02-New England (1-0-1) - Manage a road tie against the energy bovines even while injuries reduce them to starting the fat kid sitting in the 57th row.
01-Seattle (2-0-0) - Two very convincing shutout wins, but can they do it on the road?

I hate to put the expansion team first, but they have earned it after those first two games. I will be curious to see, however, if they can keep the momentum going.

Also, on a quick side note, RSL's own Mr. Kyle Beckerman will be joining ESPN.com for a live Q and A tomorrow starting at 1 pm (Mountain). Should be some interesting stuff.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

2009 Game 1: Wait, who is the expansion team?

Wow. After all that talk about how the players now knew the system and how much better RSL was going to be this year, they went up to Seattle and laid a complete egg against the expansion Sounders in losing 2-0. If you didn't know better, you'd have thought RSL was the expansion team and Seattle was a 2008 playoff team. Ugly stuff to start the year as RSL continues to prove they can't play on the road.

First half grade: D+
Seattle obviously still had a boost from the crowd and the newness of it all and they came out and took it to RSL. Beltran was continuously abused down the flank and finally paid for it when Zakuani faked him out of his shoes and put a pass to an unguarded (thanks Nat) Nate Jaqua for a goal your blind great-grandmother could have scored. 1-0 at half.
Second half grade: F
RSL needed to come out in the second half and put their stamp on the game and really take control. Instead, they continued to fling long ball after long ball upfield to no one in particular. Kreis then inexplicably (and therefore about the norm for him) took out Findley for Williams, who a) showed he shouldn't be playing as a forward, and b) should've come in for Yura if he's going to play as a forward as Yura had an atrocious game. Soon after, Fredy Montero sealed it with a long range strike that seemed to take Nick off guard. 2-0 Seattle, and from that point on, RSL seemed to give up with the exception of late sub Raphael Cox who became easily RSL's best player on the field late.
Full Game Grade: F
RSL certainly looked like a team playing its first game of the season. They also looked like a team that struggles on the road. And for much of the match they looked like a U-14 squad. Ugly.

Positional grades:
Defense: B-
Midfield: F
Forward: D+

Player Grades:
Nick Rimando-6 Played well, but loses a point for the Montero goal.
Tony Beltran-3 Awful. Burned for the first goal and couldn't complete a pass.
(Raphael Cox 84)-7 Was the best player on the field after coming on.
Jamison Olave-8 Without the big O, RSL loses 5-0.
Chris Wingert-5 Shaky stuff from Chris.
Nat Borchers-5 Takes partial responsibility on both goals.
Kyle Beckerman-4 Too many late, swiping tackle attempts. Easily could've gotten a red.
Javier Morales-4 Poor first touch, terrible corners. Never put himself in the game.
Clint Mathis-7 Beautiful vision. Probably his best game since coming back.
(Jean Alexandre 89)-6 Not much time to do anything.
Will Johnson-6 Very up and down all night.
Robbie Findley-6 Good passing and took the few opportunities he got.
(Andy Williams 74)-5 Looked lost out there, needs to impose himself on the game.
Yura Movsisyan-4 Almost a 3. Blew about 3 golden opportunities, gets way too cute with the ball and turns it over too much.

Ref grade (B. Toledo)-5
Not good, but certainly not into Alex Prus territory. Some uneven calls and some very soft yellows.
Coach grade (Kreis)-4
Didn't seem to know what to do once RSL got behind. Did nothing to turn the tide at the half.

RSL Man of the Match-Jamison Olave
Made numerous big plays in the back. The one black mark was the stupid yellow he picked up on a needless shove on Montero.

Assclown of the Match-Dan Sheldon
It was nearly Montero for his whining all game (and for putting the nail in the coffin), but it goes to Sheldon for his sparse, monotone "play-by-play". If you are calling the game and getting completely shown up by the color guy, it's time to find a new profession. Is this really the best channel 2 can do? Can we get Bill Riley back in there, please? Hell, I can do a better job and I'll do it for much less than they're paying Sheldon, I'm sure.

And now for a new segment to the Review, it's time for "What We Learned":
1) RSL (and Chivas TST) were completely shafted when they came into the league. They shared an expansion draft and the Superdraft. Meanwhile, Seattle signs players from its USL team and then gets the expansion and Superdraft picks to itself. What a joke.
2) RSL seems to have come into the season a bit overconfident. Hopefully this result will humble them a bit.
3) Jason Kreis has a looooooong way to go before he can compete with the likes of Sigi Schmid in the coaching department.
4) RSL STILL cannot play on the road, and now apparently can't play on turf anymore either.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Just in time for First Kick '09, the '08 Season Grades!

Ha ha ha, boy am I late with this one. But with no further ado, here are my final grades and such from the 2008 season:

Top 5 Grades (Season & Playoffs, minimum 15 games):
5-Dema Kovalenko 6.04167
4-Jamison Olave 6.06423
3-Robbie Findley 6.08344
2-Andy Williams 6.12655
1-Nick Rimando 6.66667

Honorable mention goes to Chris Wingert, who missed the list by approximately .0001, and Will Johnson, whose 6.41667 would have made the list but he appeared in only 12 games for RSL.

Regular Season Heroes (min. 15 games):
3-Robbie Findley 6.058
2-Andy Williams 6.180
1-Nick Rimando 6.633

Not surprisingly, since the playoffs were only 3 games, the top 3 are the same on both lists.

Clutch Performers (Top 3 Playoffs, min. 2 games):
2 (tie)-Nat Borchers and Javier Morales 6.667
1-Nick Rimando 7.000

All 3 players had a nice playoff run and it shows here.

Manliest Men (most RR Man of the Match awards, regular season and playoff):
3-Jamison Olave 4
2-Nick Rimando 6 (5 + 1 playoff)
1-Javier Morales 6 (4 + 2 playoff)

Although it was a tie and the top, I give the award to Javi for getting 2 of his 6 awards during RSL's playoff run.

And now, the awards no one wants, the low scorers for 2008:

Nerves of Butter (Lowest Playoff Scores, min. 2 games):
3-Robbie Russell 5.333
2-Clint Mathis 5.000
1-Kyle Beckerman 4.667

Russell parlayed an atrocious Conference Final into a 3rd place showing, while Cleetus and Kyle each made a solid run of subpar form throughout.

Season Suckers (Regular Season only, min. 15 games):
3-Kenny Deuchar 5.621
2-Ian Joy 5.333
1-Yura Movsisyan 5.106

Even some very clutch goals couldn't save Yura, who killed himself with some terrible early season form and way too many missed chances and selfish plays.

Big Loads (Reg. Season and Playoffs, min. 15 games):
3-Kenny Deuchar 5.6333
2-Ian Joy 5.3165
1-Yura Movsisyan 5.1732

Again the full season and regular season awards mirror each other. Let's hope that Yura can be in good form all season this year and not just for the last 6 games or so.

Based on all this, with some help by my own subjectivity, here are my Top 3 RSLers of 2008:
Honorable Mentions: Borchers, Williams, Wingert
3-Jamison Olave
Made some big mistakes at times, but was overall a beast in the back and his 4 Man of the match awards were double what any other defenseman got.
2-Javier Morales
Had a midseason dip in form that hurt his score (only 5.79), but when he was on, the team usually won. Plus, even with the rough patch he still came up with a (tied for) team-high 6 Man of the Match awards.
...and your 2008 Royal Review RSL MVP is:
1- Nick Rimando
What can I say? RSL's most consistent performer not only kept "super-prospect" Chris Seitz bolted to the bench, but he also won all 3 2008 grade awards as well as tying with Javi for most Man of the Match awards. It's hard to argue with that kind of performance, even if it was from a goalkeeper and not a field player. Congrats Nick Rimando!

And now, in about 6 hours, your 2009 season!

PS-If you want to see the grades for every player, for every game, I have uploaded them to http://drop.io/royalreview for you to download or just look at. They are in Excel format, bothe the new version and in a version for Excel 97-2003. Enjoy!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Quick Update

Ah yes, MLS 2009 has begun, and our (well, at least my) hometown Real Salt Lake take to the field starting this Saturday! I'm hoping to have a short game preview (no promises) later this week. I do promise, however, to get my final 2008 grades up BEFORE RSL takes the field this weekend. I've got one more game to rewatch and then it is done. Anyway, it should be an interesting season; I can honestly see RSL anywhere from 1st or 2nd in the West down to 5th or 6th. I think we'll learn a lot this weekend. Also, I hope to get my predictions back up and running, but after the embarrassment of last week's results on mfls.com, that remains to be seen!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Coming Soon: A New Season

2009 is upon us, and with it, a new Ben Cup. There is no logo (yet), but the games are locked and loaded. This year's Ben Cup will take place on April 11th in Sandy at the River and on May 23rd in DC. Of course, the Review (and the Edgell Supporters) will have full coverage as the games draw near.

But before we move on to the '09 season, I have some finishing up to do from last year. I promise I will have the full season grades available for 2008 BEFORE first kick '09. Granted, that's not the November 2008 timeline I was looking for, but at least it is realistic! I will also update the sidebars and everything for the new year.

But for now, thanks for sticking with the Review after the last 5 months of inactivity (although RSL's 5 months of near-inactivity have contributed to that) and we should be back up and running soon, so stay tuned. Until then, and as always, GO RSL!