2009 Game 1: Wait, who is the expansion team?

Wow. After all that talk about how the players now knew the system and how much better RSL was going to be this year, they went up to Seattle and laid a complete egg against the expansion Sounders in losing 2-0. If you didn't know better, you'd have thought RSL was the expansion team and Seattle was a 2008 playoff team. Ugly stuff to start the year as RSL continues to prove they can't play on the road.

First half grade: D+
Seattle obviously still had a boost from the crowd and the newness of it all and they came out and took it to RSL. Beltran was continuously abused down the flank and finally paid for it when Zakuani faked him out of his shoes and put a pass to an unguarded (thanks Nat) Nate Jaqua for a goal your blind great-grandmother could have scored. 1-0 at half.
Second half grade: F
RSL needed to come out in the second half and put their stamp on the game and really take control. Instead, they continued to fling long ball after long ball upfield to no one in particular. Kreis then inexplicably (and therefore about the norm for him) took out Findley for Williams, who a) showed he shouldn't be playing as a forward, and b) should've come in for Yura if he's going to play as a forward as Yura had an atrocious game. Soon after, Fredy Montero sealed it with a long range strike that seemed to take Nick off guard. 2-0 Seattle, and from that point on, RSL seemed to give up with the exception of late sub Raphael Cox who became easily RSL's best player on the field late.
Full Game Grade: F
RSL certainly looked like a team playing its first game of the season. They also looked like a team that struggles on the road. And for much of the match they looked like a U-14 squad. Ugly.

Positional grades:
Defense: B-
Midfield: F
Forward: D+

Player Grades:
Nick Rimando-6 Played well, but loses a point for the Montero goal.
Tony Beltran-3 Awful. Burned for the first goal and couldn't complete a pass.
(Raphael Cox 84)-7 Was the best player on the field after coming on.
Jamison Olave-8 Without the big O, RSL loses 5-0.
Chris Wingert-5 Shaky stuff from Chris.
Nat Borchers-5 Takes partial responsibility on both goals.
Kyle Beckerman-4 Too many late, swiping tackle attempts. Easily could've gotten a red.
Javier Morales-4 Poor first touch, terrible corners. Never put himself in the game.
Clint Mathis-7 Beautiful vision. Probably his best game since coming back.
(Jean Alexandre 89)-6 Not much time to do anything.
Will Johnson-6 Very up and down all night.
Robbie Findley-6 Good passing and took the few opportunities he got.
(Andy Williams 74)-5 Looked lost out there, needs to impose himself on the game.
Yura Movsisyan-4 Almost a 3. Blew about 3 golden opportunities, gets way too cute with the ball and turns it over too much.

Ref grade (B. Toledo)-5
Not good, but certainly not into Alex Prus territory. Some uneven calls and some very soft yellows.
Coach grade (Kreis)-4
Didn't seem to know what to do once RSL got behind. Did nothing to turn the tide at the half.

RSL Man of the Match-Jamison Olave
Made numerous big plays in the back. The one black mark was the stupid yellow he picked up on a needless shove on Montero.

Assclown of the Match-Dan Sheldon
It was nearly Montero for his whining all game (and for putting the nail in the coffin), but it goes to Sheldon for his sparse, monotone "play-by-play". If you are calling the game and getting completely shown up by the color guy, it's time to find a new profession. Is this really the best channel 2 can do? Can we get Bill Riley back in there, please? Hell, I can do a better job and I'll do it for much less than they're paying Sheldon, I'm sure.

And now for a new segment to the Review, it's time for "What We Learned":
1) RSL (and Chivas TST) were completely shafted when they came into the league. They shared an expansion draft and the Superdraft. Meanwhile, Seattle signs players from its USL team and then gets the expansion and Superdraft picks to itself. What a joke.
2) RSL seems to have come into the season a bit overconfident. Hopefully this result will humble them a bit.
3) Jason Kreis has a looooooong way to go before he can compete with the likes of Sigi Schmid in the coaching department.
4) RSL STILL cannot play on the road, and now apparently can't play on turf anymore either.