The Traditional Pre-Ben Cup Interview

As has become tradition, here is the pre-game interview with the losing half of the Ben Cup, DCU Ben:

1) Well, here we are yet again with the Ben Cup upon us, and DCU is now 0-3. Is this the year that finally changes?

Yes this is the year that DC United finally claims what is rightfully theirs. The Ben Cup yearns to reside in the greater DC metropolitan area.

2) Do you think United has FINALLY learned from past mistakes and will start their first-string keeper in Utah for once?

They have not learned anything. However, by pure lucky happenstance, the backup keeper appears to be injured. The only problem is that the starter is Louis "I think I have the moves of the young Maradona before cocaine" Crayton, and he will try to dazzle you with his footwork... and he will get burned by Robbie Findley who is not kind to keepers of fancy feet.

3) Do you see Rio Tinto playing a factor in this game? This will be DC's first trip there? May it even help DCU by getting them off the artifical turf at Rice-Eccles?

Rio Tinto and real grass will slow down the game which will benefit the aged United attack with their preference to control the pace of the game.


4) I hear that you are not getting local TV coverage of this one. Is that true? And if so, what the hell? When did DCU start getting RSL-style media coverage?

Local TV has boycotted the United coverage for the first part of the season specifically to spite me because I have Verizon Fios and cannot purchase Direct Kick. I can think of two specific events that ushered in the era of DCU getting RSL-style media coverage, (1) DCU started playing like RSL and (2) when PG County denied the stadium building. Local TV is ahead of the curve on this and can see that this franchise has no marketable future in DC. Is a hint of bitterness coming across? Just checking.


5) Which RSL player are you most concerned about as a DCU fan? And conversely, which probable starter (RSL has used the same lineup in both games so far) concerns you least? Do you think DC will be able to exploit this player?

I think we have to be most concerned about RSL's speed in the attack, which means Findley. It's hard to tell after two games which player does not concern me or if we could exploit that particular player, but I'll go with Olave. I think he has a short fuse and we have some guys that like to get under the skin. I'm hoping for an early straight red.

6) On a scale of 1-10, how pumped are you for some sweet sweet Ben Cup action?

Let's put it this way, I love the Ben Cup so much I wanna take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant. (ed. note-quite possibly the best and most appropriate response ever)

7) Finally, I'd like to say that I think fans all over MLS wish you guys the best in getting a stadium. Now that it appears the PG Co. plan has fallen through, where else do you think DCU could settle? Are you concerned they may move the team?

I'm going to go with the esteemed Mr. Soccer Insider and say, Vamos St. Louis United! They can only keep the team in RFK and losing money for so long before wiser business minds prevail and send them somewhere else. I'm still holding out for a Northern Virginia stadium but if I were to put money on it, I'd put money on St. Louis.

In closing, I would just like to say that between insane work hours, technical difficulties with MLSLive.tv, and no local coverage I have yet to watch an entire match this season. I am hoping that changes this weekend as DC takes a big step towards bringing the Ben Cup to its rightful home. Vamos United!