2009 Game 4: RSL @ Energy Bovines: Total collapse

Wow. What a turd RSL laid out all over Giants Stadium last night. They were beaten in every facet of the game by a New York team that had not scored a goal of their own volition all season (their one score coming off an own goal). Apparently all that improvement we keep hearing about hasn't hit yet. The strikers couldn't finish, the midfield couldn't pass, the defense couldn't, well, much of anything. Poor all around. Basically, vintage RSL, and if you've been a fan for any length of time, you know how bad that is.

First half grade: F
From the whistle, NY took control, when David Worst (no, not a typo), in for Olave (for reasons I don't totally get) was outmuscled by Dane Richards who put the ball into the box. Rimando got a finger to it, but it defelcted straight to Kandji who pasted it into the open net. 1-0, 1:30 in. Yes, you read that right, Worst, at 6-4 and 210, was pushed around by the 5-7 and 153 lb. Richards. Yes, he sucks. The bovines kept control for most of the half as RSL feebly sent long ball after long ball skipping across the artificial turf and out of bounds. Blah. 1-0 Energy Bovines.

Second half grade: F
Basically see the first half with the following changes: 1) Worst was now beaten by Angel rather than Richards and 2) Jeremy Hall receives a straight red in the 66th, giving RSL the man advantage. But judging by RSL's play, you wouldn;t have noticed the difference if you hadn't been told.

Game grade: F
Once again, RSL loses 2-0 to a team that had not scored all season (4 games). They look horrible while doing so.

Player grades:
Nick Rimando-5 Made some great stops, but probably could have done better on the goals.
Chris Wingert-5 Not Chris's best.
Nat Borchers-7 Got beat a little on the second goal, but otherwise was tremendous.
Robbie Russell-5 Too quiet.
David (W)Horst-3 Just awful. We are screwed if this is our "depth". Perhaps he'd be better suited for Ogden?
(Luis Miguel Escalada 65)-5 Bad. Did nothing in 25 min.
Clint Mathis-6 Did a lot of running, Not a ton else.
(Ned Grabavoy 82)-6 Made a nice penetrating run, but didn't have time for much else.
Kyle Beckerman-7 All over the midfield. Another nice game for Kyle.
Javier Morales-5 Not one good free kick all night, too much diving.
Will Johnson-6 Up and down, evens to about average.
Robbie Findley-5 First touch was bad.
(Andy Williams 78)-5 WAY too many turnovers for 12 minutes.
Yura Movsisyan-5 I'm sorry, I don't get the Yura love. HE CAN'T FINISH. Another bad game.

Coaching grade (Kreis)-3 Late scratch of Olave was baffling. Did nothing to fire up or organize the team.
Ref grade (R. Salazar)-3 Allowed way too much pushing off (see the first NY goal), cards were all soft. Just awful all around.

RSL Man of the Match: Nat Borchers
Perhaps slightly at fault on the Angel goal, but was basically defending for 4 as he got no help. The only defender, and only player outside of Beckerman and maybe Grabavoy, that looked sure of himself or composed. Without his play, RSL loses 6-0.

Douchebag of the Day (aka Assclown of the Match, I like the alliteration DotD provides): Dane Richards
Did it all. From pushing off defenders all over the field (and getting away with it with help from the awful Ricardo Salazar) to flopping at the slightest touch, Dane was King Douche all night long.

Pros:
+No one got hurt.

Cons:
-David Horst didn't get hurt (JOKING! I don't wish injury on anyone, regardless of how bad they suck).
-David Horst proved once again that he is terrible.
-Thoroughly outplayed by a bad NY team, now without RSL killer Van Den Bergh.
-Is Olave hurt?
-Yura still can't finish. We need a real striker.
-Escalada was also terrible, giving us 3 poor forwards.
-The fact that RSL really couldn't even mount a serious challenge with a man advantage.
-The lack of fire from RSL for much of the game.
-The entire game.

What we learned:
1) RSL still can't play on the road (2 games, 2 shutout losses).
2) The Energy Bovines will still be RSL kryptonite, even without DVB.
3) Once Espi gets to town, Yura should find a nice comfy spot on the bench (won't happen, but should).